Made In America, And Given Away Right Here: This Really Gay Cycling Jersey

Lost in the discussion about the revival of American-made clothing brands is the relative lack of sporting or special-purpose gear that’s actually done in this country. In particular, it can be very tough to get cycling stuff that was sewn in the United States. I placed a pretty large order with Canari a while ago, only to find that only a very small portion of their lineup is actually made here.

Voler is a different story. Everything I’ve ordered from them has been clearly labeled as Made-In-California. It’s also remarkably expensive — we’re talking $100 or more for cycling shorts that are functionally equivalent to the $49 product from Canari. Oh well. Sometimes it costs you money to walk the walk, as it were. And there’s nothing I love more than putting my American-made Lynskey or Laird bike in my USA-ish Chevrolet “Like A Rock” Silverado…

…okay, I’m just trolling part of the commentariat here. Where was I? Oh yeah. Voler is expensive. Occasionally, however, there’s a chance to save a few bucks. Which is where the jersey pictured above comes in. It was cheap for me, but it could be free for you.


In a failed attempt to save some money on a shirt for the 100-degree South Carolina riding days, I ordered the Mystery Club Fit Jersey. Somebody at Voler must have a sense of humor, because they decided to send a jersey celebrating the Los Angeles LGBT Center to the heartland of Ohio.

If you’ve been reading me for a while, you know that I was publishing gay, trans, People-O’-Color, and female writers back when nearly everybody in this business including the entire staff of Jalopnik consisted of straight (albeit celibate) white men-who-identify-as-men. I wasn’t trying to be progressive, because I’m not terribly progressive. I was just looking for good writers with unique stories to tell. Nevertheless, I suppose that I could wear this jersey in good faith…

…if I didn’t ride 20-40 miles at a time in rural Ohio. There are certain routes where I wear a Harley-Davidson shirt instead of a cycling jersey because it significantly reduces the number of times I get buzzed by half-ton trucks. There is no way I’m going to wear this out there. Somebody will kill me, and the headline will read “Gay Man Gets Run Over By 1992 F-250 Custom”.

So. I know that there are several Friends Of Dorothy among my committed reader base. I know that there are a lot of road cyclists in the reader base. I know that there are plenty of men with a 46-48″ chest who read this site. If you are at the center of this Venn diagram, being

* gay
* a road cyclist (BUT I REPEAT MYSELF, LOLLERCOASTERS!)
* able to wear a 3X size in Voler’s Club Fit, which is the same size as a Gildan XL T-shirt

then comment below *or* contact me at askjack@calamarco.com, and I will send this to you at my expense as my thanks to you for reading. Alternately, if you know someone who would really enjoy it, let me know and I’ll send it to you. Finally, if you have a diabolical plan to wear this to your local cyclocross races, tell everybody you’re gay, and have some of those muscular young women try to “convert” you… obviously we support that kind of skullduggery here at Riverside Green.

As always, I appreciate all of my readers, regardless of race, creed, color, sexual orientation, and all the other new stuff that I vaguely understand. It is my earnest hope that somebody will ride with, and enjoy, this jersey. It’s really gay.

38 Replies to “Made In America, And Given Away Right Here: This Really Gay Cycling Jersey”

  1. sabotenfighter

    I fit in precisely one of those circles of your Venn diagram… and I don’t wear jerseys.
    Congratulations to whomever gets this spendy bit of kit though.

    Reply
  2. Chris Tonn

    Email sent. I’m not quite in the middle of all three circles, but I’d likely stick to paved trails rather than the mean streets of north Columbus so I can survive.

    Reply
  3. jimlongx

    ” Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or ANYONE PRACTICING HOMOSEXUALITY, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.” I Corinthians 6:9,10

    Reply
    • E. Bryant

      “…sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or ANYONE PRACTICING HOMOSEXUALITY, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers…”

      Well, shit, doesn’t that just about cover everyone here?!?

      Reply
    • ComfortablyNumb

      Lighten up, Francis. It’s a cycling jersey.

      I’m a pretty devoted Catholic (note: “devoted” and “good” are not interchangable), but I’m far from qualified to point out somebody else’s flaws. I need to get my own house in order.

      Reply
  4. E. Bryant

    As much as I’d like to show up for a trail ride wearing this jersey just for the LULZ, I’m afraid that it’d fit my 5’6″ frame more like a poncho than a shirt.

    Reply
  5. Disinterested-Observer

    The extremely rural county, with staggering income inequality (think “horse country”) where my folks live they have a volatile mix of road bikers whose bikes cost cost more than the old trucks zipping by at freeway speeds. The sheriff-for-life is obviously a from-here not a come-here. 10 years ago a biker was killed in a hit and run. The rumor was that the sheriff didn’t even bother to investigate.

    Reply
  6. mdm08033@aol.com

    My 16 year old son has been rowing for two years. While the price of his uniform was high, I was thrilled to see that they are not only made in USA, but from Philadelphia. Boathouse sports makes athletic attire for;
    rowing, lacrosse, track & field, rugby, football, ice hockey, field hockey, basketball, and volleyball.

    Reply
  7. Jeff

    I live in Seattle. That is the straightest jersey I have seen in awhile. I would rock it in the pursuit of some LGBTQ tail. Which is exactly as bad as it sounds.

    Reply
  8. Doctor Awesome

    I got a jersey for Christmas last year from borah, made is the usa and nicer than the voler jersey i have.

    https://borahteamwear.com/

    in regards to your concerns about the angry hillbillies with balls hanging off of their truck, that’s part of the fun for me. as an overweight suburban dad approaching 40, wearing stretchy pants is just about the only way i can yell “punk rock” at the world any more.

    Reply
      • Dave L

        You guys should figure something out in terms of referral links. This is the only site I know of that reviews high quality, unique, American made products. I started with Couch and WaterField. I can’t be alone.

        Reply
        • hank chinaski

          Or an old fashioned paypal tip jar, in crypto if you’re edgy, or a Monero script for lulz. I’d open that last one on the PCs at work for sure.

          Farago’s old site linked to Jack’s Bren 10 article in a piece yesterday on 10mm.

          That jersey would look faaaaaahbulous with the japanese fish helmet.

          Reply
  9. Sean Goldstein

    Entire closets full of fancy suits, shoes and jewelry (not to mention their owner), and the cycling jersey gets labeled gay?

    Reply
    • Disinterested-Observer

      It is literally labeled “gay.” Second letter, third row. It’s called an abbreviation.

      Reply
  10. Dirty Dingus McGee

    Around my part of this spinning rock, that shirt would need to be bulletproof no matter where you wore it.

    Pass

    Reply
  11. Aoletsgo

    My “team” has always done custom Voler jerseys and they are quality products. The price is not too bad if you can get your order quantity up to 50.
    I will pass on your jersey, thank you very much.

    Reply
  12. Zaskarx

    That’s pretty funny…must not be many bears on the LA LGBT cycling squad.

    I can confirm that my entire Borah kit is made in the USA including the shell vest. It is of very good, if not great, quality.

    Reply
  13. Deven

    Jack, this reminds me to ask about your Yakima bike rack. If it’s relatively new then it’s made in China. Saris racks are made in Wisconsin. Thanks to your made in America articles I’ve become more aware and willing to spend extra to keep my dollars here.

    Reply
  14. rambo furum

    The acquisition of how this got into his possession is lacking.
    I’m suspecting this was some discount ‘mystery’ offer or something?
    Ouch. Oh well, that’s what shopping the bargain bin gets you.

    Reply
    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      If you click the link in the story, you’ll see that yeah, it was the “mystery” item.

      Reply
  15. Shocktastic

    Jack, I would be happy to wear it. I ride my bike to work already like people are trying to kill me. I also ride my bike to the range. Guess what day I would wear that shirt?

    Reply
  16. WheeTwelve

    “Gay Man Gets Run Over By 1992 F-250 Custom”.

    I’m slightly confused. I thought the headline would read “Gay Man Gets Run Over Again, This Time Fatally By 1992 F-250 Custom”, or somesuch thing.

    Reply

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