Housekeeping: Cash Me Outside

The first (and probably last) recipient of the Wes Siler Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Write As Bad As The Grownups Scholarship is the hardworking and talented Connor Sahs. Early praise for Connor’s work from my readers includes phrases like:

That 16 year old has a bright future in writing…
The kid wins in a landslide…
hire the kid…
the high school kid turned a wasted opportunity into something thoroughly enjoyable…
Connor Sachs did a great job. Please give him some space on your site. I’d enjoy hearing what he has to say…
I just want to reiterate that this young man is *way* ahead of the game…
At the end of the day, I’d go on a road trip with the kid…
I wish Mr. Sahs the best of luck using his talent…
Made me want to buy an old car and take the trip myself…
He also has a bright future ahead of him as a copy editor/journalist, should he wish to pursue it…

This morning, I sent Connor a hundred dollars, which is known as a “Benjamin” in the parlance of the youngsters. That money came directly from our AdSense revenue, which comes directly from the readers’ collective willingness to deal with advertising that offers them everything from knockoff watches to erectile-dysfunction pills. Oh, about that last: A month ago, I turned off the “targeted” feature of AdSense in an effort to protect our readers’ privacy. So anything you see now should be random. If it’s not, let me know.

Check Connor out here, and look for him in these e-pages over the months to come.

12 Replies to “Housekeeping: Cash Me Outside”

  1. Carmine

    It was a fun read, though, I’m not sure if he understands, being a young person, that 1976 was not 1876, things like good air conditioning in cars already existed, even if his car didn’t have such a thing.

    Reply
    • Eric L.

      This was the icing on the cake, E:

      >I have a stock fuel mileage estimate gauge in my car
      Teeheehee… So his new CX-5 is actually getting ~17 MPG, not the 18 he thinks! [upside down emoji smile here]

      Reply
  2. ComfortablyNumb

    Wait, so those ED ads were targeted for me? I hope this doesn’t show up on my Chinese social credit score.

    Reply
  3. Jonathan H.

    I’m getting targeted ads. The one up to now on the hompage is something I was looking at on eBay and another was some bearings I recently did a Bing search on. I’m not that concerned about it but thought I’d offer a data point.

    Reply
  4. Nick D

    Great work Connor. You thoroughly improved meandering, aimless original.

    My advice would be to work hard in college, get a useful degree, and minor (or double major) in writing/journalism to protect against downside risk.

    Reply
  5. Acd

    The kid did nice work, maybe next time he should be the one in line at the manufacturer sponsored buffet line/open bar/new car launch instead of the original author.

    By the way this is one of only two sites where I enable all ads, as annoying as they are.

    Reply

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