Best of Bark: People Who Can’t Afford The Acura NSX Are Disappointed By It

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Assume that this paragraph contains some sort of disclaimer about my liking Travis Okulski and Patrick George and Matt Hardigree.

Now, let’s address this nonsense.

Doug Demuro, he of the formulaic “make two semi-serious comments and then make a third comment that’s hilarious” writing style that is so popular among car drivers, racing fans, and Jalopnik readers (SEE WHAT I DID THERE? IT’S FUNNY!) wrote one of his typically tongue-in-cheek articles about the botched launch of the Acura NSX. He is an expert on supercars, because he once used insurance settlement money to buy a used one, as you can see above. Unfortunately, he didn’t use the rest of it to buy pants.

After reading it, approximately 600 sycophants nodded in agreement and asked Doug to breathe in their general direction. I think we can safely assume that the only way that any Jalopnik reader will ever drive an Acura NSX will be in Gran Turismoland, yet they were completely frothy about the utter brilliance laid before them.

“YES! YES! Acura sucks! The NSX sucks! They did it all wrong!” they bleated as they grabbed another Dorito and slurped down some Mountain Dew (or, depending on geography, grabbed another egg white sandwich and slurped down a soy latte), then clicked over to AutoTrader.com to search for a 2001 Subaru WRX with less than 200k on the clock.

One commenter shared this brilliance. “Same could almost be said for the Camaro launch years ago – by the time the damn thing came out, we were already sick of it.” At the time of this writing, the Camaro has been the best-selling pony car for four years in a row.

Then this happened, which was hilarious.

burglar

Hahahaha. Then again, when you’ve spent years essentially fabricating an entire past for yourself, you really can’t be expected to read the articles on your own website.

Guess who doesn’t care about any of this kerfuffle? The fine people at Acura. They’re going to sell each and every NSX that they make, to all of the people who can actually afford one. The basement-dwelling Cheetos eaters are surely disappointed, but for the 1% of the population who will actually buy such a car, they’ll just end up comparing to an aging Nissan GT-R, and buy it anyway.

Meanwhile, I plan to buy a GT350, so I don’t care. Like, at all. Have a glorious weekend, Doghouse readers.