Ridin’ For Harambe, Apology Edition

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Scott was one of the first readers to send in his photo, but I lost it in my 19GB of GMail. He didn’t say anything other than to identify it as a 2013 Triumph Street Triple, so what I’m going to do is to make something up.

“Dear Jack,” he did not write, “it’s your boy, Scott. This is the Street Triple on which I joined a black biker gang led by Tyrese Gibson. We controlled the trade in ‘My Little Pony’ figurines from Chino to Goleta, or maybe it was the other way around. When Tyrese stepped down due to filming obligations for Fast and Furious 9, I was chained wrist-to-wrist with a 300-pound Kimbo Slice lookalike. I killed him with a knife-edge palm shot to the carotid. I’m currently on the run from the ATF, the FBI, the DEA, and most of the SJW. Love everything you write, especially the thinly-disguised fiction about your ex-girlfriends. Yours in Christ, Scott.”

If the real Scott has more to tell us, I expect he will in the comments…

5 Replies to “Ridin’ For Harambe, Apology Edition”

  1. Yamahog

    I wasn’t chained wrist to wrist with a 300 lb Kimbo Slice lookalike, he was CHAINED TO ME.

    Sounds like a biker gang that’s able to get out of its own way (if they’re down with a speed triple). A club robbed a gun store an hour away from me awhile back and the police showed up as some of them were leaving. And the police were able to successfully pursue a number of them. I guess it’s a good thing the clubs wouldn’t be caught dead on a ZX-14/Busa/K1300.

    Those bugeyes doe. They’re interesting and there’s something right about circular headlights on naked bikes, but I don’t get the flack for the bug eyes. They look pretty interesting and it’s not like we chose naked bikes for anything other than getting to look at the engine and the erogs that don’t punish you for having food experience.

    Do I spy the Michelin Pilot Road tires? If so, they’re FANTASTIC if you ride rain or shine. I couldn’t believe the traction I got on them. Cool bike!

    Reply
    • Apuleius

      The tires look like Pilot Road 3, to be exact; I’ve heard great things about them as well. However, when I put them on my bike I experienced sudden front-end washouts and then cupping on the front tire (corroborated by some other owners I’ve spoken with). Someone told me Michelin make their front tires “communicative” on purpose, but on a 600lb sled it’s a bit scary. Anyway, it’s weird how differently bikes can respond to tires.

      Reply
  2. happycommuter

    Agree on the headlights. I guess they are going for for a streetfighter bike, as it looks like a faired bike sans fairing.
    Is that black Union Jack on the front fender stock? How about those wide thick-stalked mirrors? I like the idea of mirrors that actually work, but they look really strange.

    Reply
    • everybodyhatesscott

      It is a union jack.

      The story of the bike. I had a white kawasaki ninja 300 i bought almost exactly 3 years ago as my starter bike. Rode it, loved it, but I needed something with a bit more pep and i loved the look of the naked bikes.7 months later, It was ducati monster, fz-09, speed triple, or the street triple. Test rode a speed triple and a street triple and the other two fell of the list. I was about to pull the trigger on a white speed triple when my dad talked me out of it and said ‘you’ll kill yourself.’ He was probably right. So it was the search for the right street triple. Scoured Craigslist and couldnt find one I liked in the chicago area so i bought one sight unseen from a nice fellow in Ohio who was upgrading to a bmw 1000rr (if the names off, it’s the naked version of their amazing race bike) and he’s the guy who put the union jack on it. After arranging shipping from the guys who shipped my ninja it was just a waiting game. Well, my shipping guys called me and told me their truck broke so i flew out to cleveland and i rode it however many miles home. A week later my dad found a red street triple in Chicago that wouldve been a lot easier if i wouldve waited. Well, he bought that one and we had almost matching bikes. Couple years later, ive put 7000 miles or so on mine and he’s put a lot less on his. Love the bike but it’s got about an hour and a half of ride time before it gets a bit painful and I’d love something i could take a long trip on but i cant sell a bike that fits 98% of my needs.

      In Baruthian fashion, I took a lot of dates for rides on the bike and enough of them ended well. No more new dates for me though. Found a nice girl I’ve been dating for about a year and she loves the bike.

      The cartel story is better.

      The mirrors are ugly but they function great. My dads 2012 has the round mirrors that look better but not nearly as useful.

      Reply
  3. -Nate-Nate

    Those Michelins really spice up old Touring rigs too…. =8-) .

    Danny Boy bought one of the first Bloor triples when they came out and he let me ride it a bit , I vividly remember pulling a wheelie going ’round a 90° corner by mistake .

    All I worried about was how to hell to pay for it when it crashed but some how all was well .

    After that I always chose his Meriden T140E when he wanted me to ride his bikes .

    -Nate

    Reply

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