(Last) Weekly Roundup: You Find Me In The Club Edition

“Would you like to visit our nightclub?” the person at the hotel door asked. “Let me give you a ticket, miss.” I blame this on Danger Girl, who looked very glamorous in her gold sequin dress and white leather boots. I looked positively homeless; I was wearing an old Tyrwhitt buttondown and NB 990s. On the presumption that I was her valet, or perhaps father, they let me in too.

After an hour of bouncing around aimlessly on the main floor, staring up at the dancers and listening to a second-rate DJ pretend to be a bleach-blonde steroid-using variant of Tiesto, my knees called time on the affair. I was already peeved because a bouncer had shoved me out of the way to make room for a group of VIP investment bankers and their ensemble of prostitutes. It takes some shoving to move me, you know. “Don’t punch that guy,” brother Bark advised. “All twelve of his fellow bouncers will kill you.”

I don’t need to go back there. Contrary to 50 Cent’s protestations, you will not find me in the club. But you can find me on some of your favorite websites. Let’s take a look.


At TTAC, I answered a question about a Maxima, considered the ethics of self-driving cars, and squeezed in a brief mention of Gil Scott-Heron.

For R&T, I told the story of a Hellcat pilot moonlighting as an Uber driver, and I suggested a solution to the problem of unsightly old German luxury cars.

That trip to the club, and the multiple long nights surrounding it, took a lot of out of me, but I’m coming back up to speed now. Look for this week’s roundup to be a bit more, ahem, timely. And that’s a promise you can take all the way to Funkytown.

13 Replies to “(Last) Weekly Roundup: You Find Me In The Club Edition”

  1. Bigtruckseriesreview

    A Hellcat is a HORRIBLE CAR to use for Uber.

    Here in Manhattan, you’re sitting in traffic long enough to watch the needle dip into the 7.9MPG range.

    Then factor in the relatively smallish backseat.

    I just added a female driver to my UBER service and more-than-likely she’ll be in a plug-in hybrid rather than a gas powered car. I wish I could get 3 or 4 Model X’s but the price per unit is still too high.

    Reply
    • Yamahog

      The Lexus RX hybrid calleth.

      It sounds fun though – you’d get to share the experience and maybe cover gas and tires? It just begs for an app that lets one get more say on the car they want to ride in. From the perspective of a HELLCAT driver, wouldn’t you be interested in giving a ride and getting some money from someone who sought out a HELLCAT?

      I’m sure there are a lot of ‘car guys’ in NYC who don’t have a car but want to get up close and personal with a cool car. A hellcat ride could be a fun way to blow $20.

      Reply
  2. Bigtruckseriesreview

    I’m not into nightclubs.

    #1 I don’t drink when I go. I prefer to stay in complete control of my faculties – so I’m more likely to order Sprite than alcohol.

    #2 I don’t care for the women. Prostitutes (in many cases) trying to pretend to be good, clean and wholesome or groups of women who’ll cock block you when you try to talk to their friend (because they are jealous that she’s prettier).

    I prefer quiet, studious bookworms with barely any sexual activity on their roster.

    When I was in Seychelles recently I hooked up with a Seychellois chick for the weekend. But now she’s over 11,000 miles away. That’s not gonna work out at all.

    Reply
  3. Eric H

    You might want to define a luxury car as a car that depreciates 30% or more of its current value each year.
    This nicely rolls up cost of repair and the “I can’t be seen in last years’ model” valuation hits.

    Reply
  4. rwb

    To paraphrase, I don’t want to be in any club that would allow me entry. Most likely, if they’re handing out tickets in the street, it’s just going to be a crowd of people in a loud room rather than anything super cool.

    Sorry for a non-sequitur: Do you (or anyone here) know anyone who’s tried the RT615K+, or Rival S 1.5? I need summer tires.

    Reply
    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      I have the RT615 on my Boxster right now. Not sure if it’s the plus. Good solid summer tire, wears well, progressive release.

      Reply
      • rwb

        Plus just came out, same with Rival 1.5. I might take a chance, they’re less than $400/set after Tire Rack sells my personal info to spammers for a $100 rebate.

        Reply
  5. -Nate-Nate

    Hm ;
    .
    Old Mercedes W126 S-Klasse sedans and prostitutes, interesting mix there Jack .
    .
    If they crush all the remaining old Diesel, where the hell will I get parts ?! .
    .
    I remember clubbing as a young man decades ago ~ the sticky floors that felt like _velcro_, over priced watered down drinks, sleazy skanks I’d never touch . ugh .
    .
    -Nate

    Reply
  6. zzr rider

    With reference to your recent Harley experience, the motorcycling Ten Commandments need an appendix:

    1. Thou shalt not ride in Florida unless thou art days away from succumbing to bone cancer
    2. Thou shalt not throw a leg over a bike within the Vegas city limits*

    *or ride from Phoenix to Vegas, because you’ll commit ritual seppuku before you get to Kingman, AZ

    Reply
  7. VoGo

    I liked the concept behind the used luxury car buybacks.

    The idea of a Tesla/GM hookup I was less happy with. I think the GM culture would destroy all the good in Tesla, and I don’t think there is that much in GM that Musk would truly value. He already tried to leverage Toyota, and it didn’t work out.
    For those who agree with Jack, I’d suggest you read the history of the GM/EDS merger and Ross Perot’s experiences on the GM board.

    Reply

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