Facebook Is Making You Fat

Hey there! Do you need another reason to quit Facebook? Not a problem. It turns out that people who quit Facebook experience lower cortisol levels after just five days. Cortisol, for those of you who don’t receive the daily email updates from LIVESTRONG, is the “fight or flight” stress hormone. One of the side effects associated with high cortisol levels: extra fat creation, especially belly fat.

I wish I could tell you that I’ve gotten thinner since quitting Facebook. It ain’t necessarily so. I do feel mentally healthier, however. I’m kind of looking forward to the day where I don’t write for a living any more. I’ll delete all my accounts everywhere and disappear like Salinger or Bobby Fischer. The only difference is that nobody’s going to come looking for me. They will still be glued to their phones.

14 Replies to “Facebook Is Making You Fat”

  1. Eric L

    I… Uh… I think Fischer disappeared for a different reason (if Wikipedia is to be believed).

    I deleted my account tonight, after posting an obligatory “Hello, I am deleting this. Here is my email, here is my phone number, here are my Twitter + Flickr handles.” I got one new Twitter follower and one text–more than I was expecting!

    Browsing through the data export has a lot of fascinating data lurking within. I’d like to compare the 2018-03-29 dump to the one I took sometime in 2014, before I started purging all of my content on the site.

    My favorite part of the 2014 dump was the message histories and seeing your internal ID # in all the threads from mid-2008 and earlier. Skimming the new dump, it looks like they put some effort into making it harder to puzzle out what’s going on. Very random ordering to most of the content that was originally sequential.

    After deciding to delete my account, I’ve visited your site more. I doubt that will do anything to lower my cortisol levels. [joy emoji here]

    Reply
  2. stingray65

    If Facebook induced obesity doesn’t kill you, walking around with your face glued to your phone certainly will – I would like to see the stats on how many people are injured or killed by stepping off a cliff or in front of a bus, etc. from being distracted while walking. I guess I am old, but a relish every opportunity to not have my phone with me. I don’t take it when out running, or biking, or skiing, I don’t take it when walking the dog, and I leave it in the entry of my house when I am working in my office on the top floor. Yet, I seem to be very alone in my habits, as I constantly see young mothers pushing baby buggies but looking at their phone instead of their baby, or dog walkers who are on the phone instead of interacting with their devoted pet. How many children and dogs are going to have mental illness because their parents/owners would rather interact with their phone than with their child or pet?

    Reply
  3. BlueovalDave

    Bobby Fischer was a genius who naturally figured out the NWO and was a marked man when he called them out. May have been a little over the top but essentially got it right. Lived out his life in Iceland. Didn’t they also kick out the Central Bankers? Hmmm

    Reply
  4. -Nate

    Damn ! .

    Here I am old and fat, never was foolish enough to join facbok so I guess I’m stuck this way….

    I see people of all ages and class strata mindlessly walking along not paying any attention to where they’re going and worry they’ll bash my car/Moto and not have any insurance…

    Clueless clods never worry about the result of their actions .

    -Nate

    Reply
  5. Dirty Dingus McGee

    Wait, so if I JOIN Fecebook I’ll lose weight? (ponders for a moment)

    I think I would rather the meth diet.

    Reply
  6. Booty_Toucher

    Dang, I was hoping for an actual editorial on the whole FB debacle from either of the Baruth bros. Also still hoping for an editorial on Uber’s self driving car killing that pedestrian. I’ll keep waiting.

    Reply
  7. Paul M.

    Jack, what has happened to you? All that life experience at dealers, with beautiful women, and you have become so freaking boring.

    Dude, get back to writing about cars. Even rental cars. Or old girl friends or dealer stories.

    God how distasteful this political BS is. Get back to what made Jack, JACK.

    Reply
  8. SIV

    In some alternate, better universe, all auto journalists headline their sport sedan comparos with “More Whores-Power”, it’s like an effin’ cliche. But not here in Hell, no.

    Reply
  9. Carmine

    Is wearing the same shit all the time a habit of rich annoying people that think they’re really smart?

    Reply
    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      It’s extreme wealth signaling… he is so rich that he doesn’t have time to think about clothing. It’s also blatant copying of Steve Jobs and the “uniform” that Jobs wore.

      Reply

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