Introducing… The 633CSXi (Or is that the X6 3.3?)

From the fertile mind of automotive sketch and Photoshop artist Zykotec comes this decidedly retro take on BMW’s infatuation with the CR-V form factor. I’m feeling a bit of Princess in the overall look, but I also think it’s a dramatic improvement over the current X6. Most importantly, it looks vaguely depressed, just like the original 6-Series did. What say you, dear readers? Would you smash?

24 Replies to “Introducing… The 633CSXi (Or is that the X6 3.3?)”

    • bbakkerr

      Exactly what I was thinking, altho some wood paneling would really make it complete.

      I like this look on the old AMCs, but not on the new wave of Euro-humpbacked whale vehicles that I am seeing. Also, the Honda Accord Crosstour is a similar beast.

      Awful.

      Reply
  1. Zykotec

    I’m very very grateful for the promotion, and I hope you don’t lose any followers for it XD
    This was made a few years ago (file was last modified in 2013 apparently) when I really didn’t like the first X6 and wanted to find a way to show how I felt about it.
    Since then it has grown on me, but this ’80s version was made ‘ugly’ (ok, taste is subjective) deliberately.
    I’d still mosly prefer an AMC Eagle SX/4, but I have seen a X6M ‘design edtition’ up close once, and its gives the AMC a run for its money.

    Reply
    • Thomas KreutzerThomas Kreutzer

      I should probably start reading the articles rather than jumping to conclusions.

      I honestly thought this was some sort of “retro” model they were thinking of making. I should have known this was a photoshop creation just by looking at the glass – it’s something a driver can actually see out of and doesn’t have a-pillars the size of a fat man’s thighs.

      Reply
    • James

      It does look much better than the x6 or crosstour; which IMO are abominations. There’s an SX/4 and an Eagle wagon in my area and they look great compared to either the B or the H. I haven’t seen an X6M in the flesh although any pics I’ve seen are Meh!

      Reply
    • James

      Had a look at the site JB referenced in the OP. Nice work. Looks a lot like my workbooks and probably my HS notebooks. Still sketch and doodle to this day. Do you have a non Facebook page?

      Reply
      • Zykotec

        Nah, I’ve never had my own page, some photoshops are on facebook, and on a photoshopping site called Autemo. Some older ones may exist on deviantart too. On instagram I mostly post quick sketches so that I don’t have to store them all physically. I have problems leaving paper alone if I have a pen available. Actually I carved cars into rocks on school trips, so I don’t even need paper…

        Reply
  2. Bigtruckseriesreview

    I was at the NYIAS and saw BMW’s replacement for the 5GT – the 6GT.

    I really like the variants of BMW’s cars. My only problem is that interior space is form over function and you get less interior cargo capacity than you would on a cheaper SUV.
    Maybe they should build a 7 GT as well?

    People want larger cars and they will buy them if the packaging and pricing is right.

    Reply
    • Zykotec

      I think that if they got the designs right, or at least consistent between models, there is a chance I could really like them (if they weren’t so hilariously expensive) Seen from the side the 3GT and the new 6GC look absolutely hideous, but the 4GC was very nice, and the outgoing 5GT wasn’t really that ugly. The X6 is honestly too big, and somehow the X4 looks too short…(hope I got all of those right, I honestly can’t keep up with the updates on all of BMWs bodystyles anymore)
      Audi somehow managed to make the A7 ugly when the A5 hatch was one of the prettiest German cars in three decades, so I guess it’s a German thing. Notice how I completely gloss over any hatchback attempt from MB, and refuse to speak of them at all.

      Reply
  3. Rob

    BMW owner here- that would easily be the most attractive X-Even Number in production. I always thought the forward-canted grill looked somewhat aggressive in a sharklike fashion, rather than depressed. My GP doctor could probably drive whatever he likes, but has a mid-80’s 635CSi in cherry red, and I admire it every time I see it.

    Reply
  4. rwb

    I’ve found few better predictors that I will find a person intolerable than possession of an X6.

    While well done, I assume if this existed in the late 70s the same would hold true.

    Reply
  5. Ken

    Completely, utterly, entirely off topic…. Jack would love to see your (and by extension those that frequent this site) take on proposed China tariffs. Kinda feel like its a good thing, but hard to get a good counter point to “tariffs bad” which seems to be the media’s current slant. I’ve seen some of your prior writing on motorcycle tariffs, so I’m interested to reading your thoughts.

    Reply
    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      In my opinion, the best thing we could do would be to impose a 100% or higher tariff on every single item that comes from China.

      The money from that tariff should be devoted to programs that support infrastructure repair and restoration in this country so we can actually support a nation full of people actually going to and from work.

      Alternately, we could estimate the average cost of compliance with environmental, worker safety, and unemployment insurance regulations — then add that cost to every Chinese product so it competes on a level playing field with products made to those standards here and elsewhere.

      Reply
    • MrGreenMan

      America was not historically an export-oriented country. We’re about to see how much China wants to fight if they try to flush the treasuries, but it will be good in the long run for America to stop doubling its foreign-held debt every presidency.

      I like what Ann Coulter wrote yesterday – we have a responsibility to our neighbor, including making sure he can have the dignity of work, not necessarily the cheapest consumer good to satisfy our materialism.

      I remember having the pitch man at the government institution where I worked in my di riguer khakis and polo shirt, security-of-no-classification badge and O’Reilly zoo animal library come through and say that it was great that all the debt was internally held, and didn’t I want to put my retirement in US bonds. He can’t make the same pitch no more.

      China has different values from us; we were on course to subsuming ourselves to their values in everything, not just large-sedan designs. Exhibit A: See Magic Mark beg China and do whatever they want to get Facebook across their firewall, while pretending to stand up to the US government. He knew which way the wind was blowing.

      Reply
  6. Dr Ribs Revere

    Does it have a manual transmission option? (of which nobody will buy because it will impact the lease resale/residual) Does anyone buy modern BMWs vs leasing them?

    Reply
    • Zykotec

      This would have been the early 80’s so a 5 speed manual would be standard, with a 3 speed auto as an option for the gasoline engines. As of late 1983 it would also be available with a diesel engine with no auto option (economy version) It would also never have been exported to the US as it could not meet emissions regulations. Before production ceases in 1985 they will have sold 2378 cars, of which at least 23 were diesels. Pablo Escobar bought 5 of the last X635’s, one in each available color.

      Reply
  7. ScottS

    Why not give that car a trunk so the passengers have some space for gear, and lower it down for better handling? But wait, wouldn’t that be the M635CSi with an extra set of doors? Smash!

    On China, we’ve been in a trade war for over two decades. The only change is we are threatening to fight back.

    Reply
  8. Myles

    I own a 633CSi, and to be perfectly honest about it, never really noticed the slightly meleancholic expression until I read this. It certainly looks more dramatic than my W124 coupes, that look stern and imperious, good looking in that clinical way that all 80’s Benzes share. But I never realized my 6er exhibits a distinct sense of ennui, and this might change the way I feel driving it.

    The SUV rendering is, down to every detail, exactly what Porsche did when it grafted the 996 design language onto the first Cayenne. They’d sell a ton.

    Reply

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