You Get Just One Chance To Guess…

bigdog1

…what kind of car is sharing the driveway with this BigDog chopper for sale, yo. It’s not a Dodge Ram, I know that was your first choice. Not a truck of any kind. An actual passenger vehicle. Not even a convertible.

Just one chance. Close your eyes, guess, and click the jump.

bigdog2

Perfect, right? I’m a little partial to the C3 models with the glass fastback over the earlier soft-tail ones so it’s probably fair to say that the Corvette in the picture is the worst Corvette they ever made. With the exception of the Blue Flame cars, it’s probably the slowest, as well.

I mean, really: what else could it have been?

23 Replies to “You Get Just One Chance To Guess…”

  1. AvatarDomestic Hearse

    I went for the ironic guess: Prius.

    But yeah, the plastic-bumpered Coke-bottle era Vette. Wow. Stereotypes become so because of the consistent, underlying truth. Not always, but in this case, yes.

    Reply
  2. Avatar-Nate

    Stereo types are usually truth based .

    I hate this but it is so .

    As a life long Motocyclist I hate these crappy un rideable junk Motos no one actually rides .

    I realize style is a big variable but if you have to change your vehicle so it cannot be used in any way , then you clearly don’t like it , you’re chasing some impossible rainbow .

    I keep meeting the boobs who own these and they always get angry and say ” I ride it ! ” .

    My reply is the same ‘ O.K. , lets go ride the Angeles Crest Highway or Pacific Coast Highway about 35 minutes , go as slowly as you want . drinks and lunch are on me ” .

    Oddly , in nearly 50 years of riding , NOT ONE has taken up my offer , because of course , this rolling piece of embarrassing sh*t , cannot be ridden apart from the pickup truck (almost always a pimped out Ford) to the show/bar/whatever .

    Jerk offs .

    -Nate
    (and _STAY_ off my lawn !)

    Reply
    • AvatarScott

      As a life long Motocyclist I hate these crappy un rideable junk Motos no one actually rides .

      I realize style is a big variable but if you have to change your vehicle so it cannot be used in any way , then you clearly don’t like it , you’re chasing some impossible rainbow .

      Agreed. It’s not as if there aren’t some gorgeous bikes out there that don’t look ridiculous either. Ducati Monster, Triump Street Triple, Triumph Thruxton, BMW S1000R. All good looking functional bikes.

      Reply
      • AvatarWiredChuck

        Ducati is Italian for Harley-Davidson, particularly the Monster. Ducati has become a lifestyle accessory, and although it builds some nice bikes, most that I see have two inches or more of chicken strip on the rear tire.

        Reply
        • AvatarScott

          Ducati is Italian for Harley-Davidson, particularly the Monster.

          Really? I figured they were overpriced because of their name and the monster gets decent reviews. I haven’t ridden one unfortunately. I’ve ridden a Harley and they’re garbage. (It was a sportster…)

          Reply
  3. Avatar67dodgeman

    Maybe it’s my age, or when and where I grew up, or simply the fact that I have never actually driven a Corvette, but that there is my favorite body style. Period. I’ll take a ’63 split window coupe in a pinch, but if I’m paying money then give me something from the disco era. At least I’ll finally have something to match my Hot Wheels collection!

    As for the bike, I’m with Nate. Every used one I see is “mint”, “low miles”, “collectable”, etc. Which basically says they are worthless. Nothing like the BMW’s or Goldwings with 80,000 miles on the odometer. Or my Suzuki Wee-Strom with 40,000 and counting. Might as well be the 2 wheeled equivalent of the supercar from Jack’s previous article, nothing more than a fashion accessory for a different crowd.

    Reply
  4. AvatarLuke

    I think it’s a law that all C3 Corvettes still on the road must be equipped with Cooper Cobra tires. Likely with a 10+ year old build code.

    Reply
  5. Avatarjz78817

    having just received my motorcycle endorsement on my driver’s license, I can’t for the life of me understand how people ride those things. wouldn’t that much caster angle make this thing handle horribly?

    Reply
    • Avatar-Nate

      Yes ~

      The turning radius will be like a Mack Truck and if you let go the handlebars on the open road , the front end will flop to one side and you days goes to crap prettydamnquick .

      The entire point of riding is to have a good time , not show the whole world you’re insecure about the size of your penis .

      -Nate

      Reply
  6. AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

    Ha. Nailed it. But it was kinda like taking candy from a baby. What else could it have been?

    At least the C3 can get you up and down the road. The ‘bar hopper”, not so much.

    But they both make your boy parts so much bigger.

    Reply
  7. Avatarmnm4ever

    Did anyone else notice the LR3 and low rider pickup parked out front too? Keeping strange company there! But yeah the malaise era Vette does seem like a good match for the overpriced Big Dog, both being more style than substance.

    However I don’t have a problem with both custom motorcycles or C3 Corvettes. I really love streamlined bobbers, lowered single seats, all flat black, wrapped exhaust, clip-ons… something like a cafe racer but for straight lines. I realize a lot of riders love to carve corners, but there are many places that people live and ride where the only corners to carve are the ones at stoplights. No reason not to have a cool custom bike meant for cruising the boulevard. But not a chopper so extreme you can’t even ride it straight.

    As for the unloved C3… laugh all you want but this is the time to buy one. They will never be cheaper, and a great many of them have been lovingly maintained and stored by that guy who spent his entire life dreaming of owning a Corvette, hoping that someday it would be worth big money, only to have those dreams shattered along with a marriage or his heath or whatever is causing him to have to sell it. For half the price of a not-that-great Camaro you can buy a mint condition Corvette of the same vintage. There is a pretty good chance that in the next 10-20 yrs it will rise in value, and almost zero chance its value will fall any further than it already has. The better C3’s are already showing signs of recovery. I personally dislike the later discotastic bubble back models, make mine a earlier chrome bumper small block with the sugar scoop sail panels.

    Reply
    • AvatarMental

      I think he is right.

      If you follow the theory of collectable cars;

      I think Jack has touched on this, but I have seen it elsewhere.

      Find whatever the cool car (or cars) was 40-45 years ago. That was the one all the 60 year-olds wanted when they were in school. Now they have money, and they mean to have it.

      It all started with those Boyd Coddington creations. ZZ Top has the infamous Eliminator and the whole craze started. All the guys who wanted a custom 32 Ford or Highboy had money and bought them.

      Follow the market peak to the Tri-5 craze, then onto early Muscle cars. Then the Hemi Chryslers were bringing ungodly money until the carpocolypse. Now you are seeing 70’s era “muscle” commanding steep prices. I love Burn Notice more than I should, but have you seen the price of a 70’s Charger? Of curse the T/As were the kings back then, but the warmed over Z-28s of the late 70’s are starting to rise as well.

      Which brings us to the what is actually the disco era Vettes (I keep hearing the early model digital dash C4s called Disco Vettes). The last of the notchbacks, as weak as they were were still cars people aspired to when they were in high school. 74-78 Vettes set sales records and they have been cast off cars since the C4 came online. The early collectors of that generation will be entering prime Mechams/Barrett Jackson age in under 10 years and the number of unmolested examples is dwindling.

      If you can score an original 1978 Corvette Coupe-Silver Anniversary edition and the collector liquor bottle to match, thats an investment car.

      I am with mnm4ever. They will never be cheaper than right now. yeah they sucked, but hey, few things didn’t.

      But those choppers kill me. I love the whole rat-bike backlash they caused, I really do. I love bobbers and cafe style bikes, even though with any trend comes the unbearable fashion followers. But the chromosexuals that gravitated to those things, that is a unique level of D-baggery. Not a peak level mind you, just unique.

      It Colorado, invariably I would hear riders of one of those tell lecture me on how dangerous me and my canyon carver buddies were, even with all of our gear. We referred to the custom choppers as DUIcycles, as all they were used for was bar trips and poker runs of no more than 10 miles per stop. So after 10 beers some clown hops on one of those fat tire creations and wobbles unsure down the road until the local PD pinches him.

      When the crash happened you could pick up one of these with various levels of build quality for as little as $5K.

      Reply
  8. AvatarPDQ

    I was gonna guess the car was either a Nash Metropolitan or an AMC Matador – Oleg Cassini Edition. ‘Cuz they’re both soooo stylish – just like the motorcycle!

    Reply
  9. AvatarAthos

    The bumper gave the C3 right away. I don’t have a problem with them, one of my coworkers has 2.

    And for the really underpowered ones… there’s nothing a LS-Whaevs cannot cure. A 350 can be souped up easily too.

    Regarding the motorcycle… meh.

    Reply
  10. JackJack Post author

    I love the early Stingrays and the 82 collectors car. The non bubble back plastic bumper cars have me deeply ambivalent. One of my neighbors twenty years ago had the year with the split Endura bumper in the back. I think that’s seventy four.

    Reply

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