Amazon Candle Reviews As COVID-19 Indicator

Your daily reminder that TLP was right when he called narcissism the great disease of the American era.

Most COVID-19 carriers are very nearly asymptomatic, and your chance of dying from the disease as a healthy individual under the age of sixty-five is something like one in ten thousand. (This is worse than your chances of being struck by lightning during your lifetime, but not by much.) That being said, it would appear that plenty of people do temporarily lose their sense of smell. This being America in 2020, we then turn around and assume that it’s a defect in our most recently purchased scented candles, not this mildly well-publicized pandemic, that might be causing a certain lack of detectable scent in the living room. How could it be otherwise? The problem is never with us. There’s just one question: Why are we suddenly expecting more, albeit not as much more, from our unscented candles?

(h/t, as the late Charles Hill would say, to Gab comedian John Rivers.)

18 Replies to “Amazon Candle Reviews As COVID-19 Indicator”

  1. AvatarTrumpsLegacyIsaCancer

    Whatever happened to “the guaranteed Trump 2020 victory” that you and your fellow cultist Trumptard brother guaranteed, Jack?

    Oh, I know; the election was stolen, because there were hundreds of thousands of fraudulent votes, even though every appellate court, including ones with very conservative and Trump appointed judges have specifically ruled that the Trump team has yet to produce a scintilla of evidence of hundreds, let alone thousands, let alone tens of thousands of any alleged fraudulent votes for Biden.

    Trump has killed the Republican Party. Trumpism is an ignorant cult movement, and a type of anti-science, irrational, conspiracy driven movement that has now spread to parts of Europe, South America, MENA, and some parts of Asia, that throws legitimate democracies into chaos or prevents nascent ones from blossoming further.

    It’s such a good thing that Trump brought so many manufacturing jobs back (not), so many coal mining jobs back (not), successfully forced China and other nations to buy more American farmers’ soybeans and other crops (not; Trump subsidized farmers to the tune of tens of billions of additional monies to keep them from revolting against him), and that he delivered on things like that massive Foxconn factory in Wisconsin ;not) and the nearly two thousand mile construction of an effective border wall (not). at a time when Trump had his tenure with a totally compliant Senate in his hands.

    Then there’s that 11 trillion additional dollars in US national debt that Trump racked up in 3 1/3 years (likely to be closer to 13 trillion by the January 20th).

    As a sweetener, it was lovely to watch Barr turn the American DOJ, that is supposed to advocate on behalf of American Citizens, into Trump’s personal, vendetta seeking law firm.

    I could go on and on about the cult of Trumpism that captured even some remotely intelligent people in such a mysterious way, but given the incredible Trump stickiness level among his core supporters, what would be the point?

    Anyways, let all reasonable people hope and pray that what will be 4 years of Trump, Miller, Kushner, et al., suppressing Matis, Tillerson, and a league of highly ethical and competent specialists, gutting critical institutions such as the State Department, CIA, DOJ and basically Anerica’s Intelligence apparatus can be reversed somehow.

    Let’s hope it’s not too late.

    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      You must be a very important person from a very important place, because here in the sticks what we primarily notice is that Trump didn’t stop-loss people, didn’t start new deployments, and in general kept Ohio’s kids out of harm’s way like no American president since Gerald Ford. You don’t see a bunch of 19 year olds at the VA hospital now.

      Oh… and I watched my workplaces change significantly from 2016-2018. Saw a lot of new American faces at the job. Saw wages go up. During my tenure at JPMC in 2017 I saw something I never thought would happen in my lifetime: Indians going back home because their visas didn’t automatically turn permanent. The base rate for junior sysadmin work, which had been $40 in 1999 and gradually declined to $25 by 2016, popped back up to $50.

      Your desire to return to business as usual, with more dead kids and more unemployed fathers, however, is duly noted, and I’m sure you will get your wish. Furthermore, in your emotional disarray you’re trading punches with a strawman, as this website never predicted a Trumpslide ahead of time.

      As always, thanks for reading.

    • AvatarMatthew H

      Ah yes, the familiar “Orange Man as Shiva” canard, which couples hatred for WrongThink Americans with our modern Millenarianism. We heard for four years how Trump threatened the very fabric of democracy; the institutions stand as robust as ever.

    • AvatarPaulyG

      This is phenomena is interesting. I am sure you would never barge into someone’s home and rant like that at your host. But you feel free to do so on a relatively private website. Have you no decorum?

      Please feel free to debate thoughtfully but let’s keep the ad hominem attacks to a minimum.

    • Avatarhank chinaski

      My internet dollar says that rant was triggered by the naming of the site that should not be named. I may or may not also follow Mr. Rivers. Or I would if I visited that hive of scum and villainy.

      ROFL at ‘totally compliant Senate’. Berstein’s list of contempt as reported this week comes to mind.

      • AvatarS2kChris

        I had Covid in October, as did my wife and her parents (from whom we got it). Wife and I had extremely mild colds, one day of feeling run down, and a couple weeks of no/reduced smell. Have been back to normal since about Halloween. My kids tested negative but since they were around us the whole time presumably they got it and were asymptomatic. She’s a healthy 37y/o, I’m a fat but otherwise healthy 38y/o. Her parents, in their mid-late 60s, mother was run down for 2 weeks, her dad (69y/o) went to hospital with 105* fever and pulseOx ~90. He was in for 3 days, had the kitchen sink thrown at him for treatments, and was hunting in mid/late November.

        So wash your hands and all, but if you’re <65-70, it’s a mild inconvenience, nothing more. There’s a reason that about every person <40 who dies makes the news and it’s not because there are a lot of them.

    • AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

      Troll level=2
      Intelligence level= -2

      I wasn’t a Trump supporter initially, it’s just that the choice between him and Shrillary was no contest on who was the better choice. Over the last 4 years I’ve increasingly grown to like what his goals were. The last 10-12 months have been difficult to continue the path the country was on, to the detriment of the country.

      You come across as someone who lives in a major metro area. As such, you need us rural folks FAR more than we need you. While you consider us uneducated rubes, we keep you fed (don’t see many farms in NYC), keep the factory’s running(what few your type hasn’t sent overseas) and in general keep the country what it was designed to be. You don’t find folks out here stomping around self righteously, smashing up someone else’s property/business/dreams/livelihood, because of a desire for anarchy instead of peace and quiet.

      For that, I blame the half wits of my generation that went into the education industry and civil service careers. They were unable, in most cases, to make a living doing anything else. Instead they chose to go into a field where there was no repercussions for doing a half ass job, with next to chance of being terminated.

      As a last comment, if socialism is so good, why have we never seen homemade boats heading from Miami to Cuba? You would think that those who want to foist socialism on the rest of the country would eventually tire of the effort and just move to where it already exists. In the same vein, I don’t see y’all lining up to move to mainland China, North Korea, Valenzuela, etc.

      Go back under your bridge.

    • AvatarRonnie Schreiber

      As a sweetener, it was lovely to watch Barr turn the American DOJ, that is supposed to advocate on behalf of American Citizens, into Trump’s personal, vendetta seeking law firm.

      You must have missed the day in civics class when they taught that executive branch agencies work for the executive. The people’s advocates are in the House.

      You had no problem when the IRS was politicized against Tea Party and pro-Israel activists. You had no problem when the DoJ and CIA cooked up a scheme to take down a president and illegally prosecute Carter Page and Gen. Flynn. You have no problem with any of that because you think the ends justifies the means, tovarish, as long as your side wins. You’re more embarrassed at having a boor for a president than you are at cheating to defeat him.

      Your disdain for regular Americans is patently obvious. Nobody voted for any of those Deep State mandarins at the State Dept and CIA, but since you identify with them as part of your class, your tribe, you think they have divine right to rule by virtue of their Ivy League degrees and having all the right thoughts.

      …at a rolling donut … and the horse you rode in on.

      • Avatarstingray65

        Barr as Trump’s personal vendetta machine? I must have missed when the FBI raided Hillary at 5 AM, or the Comey, Brennan, Rice, Biden, Obama et. al. perp walks as they were arrested for treason. Perhaps CNN and Twitter also banned all mention of these Trump vendetta results?

  2. AvatarJohn C.

    Interesting deep state stuff. Biden got 80 million votes and the cancer guy believes in the legitimacy of every one of them. Yet not even a line or two of how great Biden is. Come On man.

  3. AvatarLynnG

    Guys and Gals, be carefull what you say. The original poster is fishing for who will speak up for the President. They are making a list, you may have heard the Socialist Dems created a web site to document anyone that worked for, assisted, or supported the Trump Administration in order to hinder their future employment. The Soc/Dem got push back and deleted the public web site but they have went stealth. They are fishing for supporter so they can publish what people have said or did. Think Linked-in, or Indeed… Be careful out there…..

  4. AvatarREM

    Someone posted on Reddit regarding the candles:
    “I work at Starbucks and the amount of people telling me their drinks don’t taste like anything has me seriously concerned. We’ve had to remake a lot of shit recently because people are saying it’s not sweet enough”

    • Avatardejal


      Yeah, because people who have been bombarded with COVID this and COVID that since February wouldn’t think about that. Most of the times when someone says sense of smell, they mean all the time with none as in I couldn’t smell anything.

      That why I keep a fresh road killed skunk nailed to my wall. Crazy? Crazy like a F’n fox!!!!!


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