Look Into The Face Of The Man Who Seduced Fifty Women In Two Years — And Despair

jared

Look at that guy.

Look at him.

While you were doing whatever you’ve been doing these past few years — I, myself, have been recovering from an automobile accident and doing my best to simultaneously earn a living and help parent my son, with the occasional detour to a racetrack or restaurant — this guy slept with fifty women. Fifty. He’s not a movie star or a well-known musician or even, ahem, a great writer. He owns a coffee shop in Asheville, NC.

He frequently “dominated” or “humiliated” the women he met, and he claims to have introduced a few of them to anal sex, but every single experience he had with them was entirely and thoroughly consensual. (His business partner, in one of their “Holistic Game” podcasts aimed at the pick-up-artist community, admits to an experience with a woman in a hospital where she might have been too impaired to give consent.) He wasn’t a rapist and he wasn’t a pimp. He was just remarkably good at sleeping with random women. They were not prostitutes, many of them were not terribly experienced. They were just normal, average-to-better-than-average, women in their twenties and early thirties. He had non-monogamous, non-exclusive sex with them on his terms.

And now that his actions have been revealed, he has been shamed, attacked, and protested. His business has come to a crashing halt. There are suggestions of criminal charges afoot. In short, he’s in big trouble.

All of that is ridiculous. He’s not guilty of anything. But after reading his blog, the now-deleted and relevant portion of which I’ll provide to you here, I can’t say I’m all that excited for my dating future, or my son’s dating future, or anyone’s dating future.


You can read some testimony by the “victims” of this guy here and you can read a boilerplate feminist response to it on Jezebel but to assign any sort of serious value to any of the “responses” to what Jared Rutledge The Coffee Dude did with/to the women of Asheville is, as Scott Adams would say, to think past the sale. The “sale”, in this case, is to believe that Rutledge did anything wrong at all, and frankly it’s a very tough sale.

Let’s take a moment to break down, factually, what Rutledge actually did:

* He had sex with fifty women.
* Every one of those interactions was completely and thoroughly consensual and nobody is even bothering to claim that they were not.
* He had an anonymous blog and podcast where he bragged about sleeping with fifty women. None of the women were ever given a true name or any worthwhile identifying information, period, point blank.

That’s all he did. He had sex with approximately half as many people as the feminist icon who has “no shame” over banging ninety-seven guys and two women and he discussed it anonymously on the Internet. So what’s the problem? It’s this: that he forthrightly discussed the methods he used to seduce the women, and he frankly evaluated the attractiveness, personalities, and human worth of his sex partners. If you want, you can take a moment to read through his evaluations of the fifty women in question and then return here. If not, here’s a sample:

Mid-twenties ginger with curves for miles. Cool personality, sassy but kind and feminine. I hit on her at a bar where she was working. We fucked for a month or so, then she got a little careless with respect for my time and I cut her loose. Fucked her again a year later on the boomerang. She’s now in a long term relationship with a fellow bartender and seems really happy when I see her.

You can’t say that Jared comes across as particularly likable in his “list” or, indeed, in anything else I’ve read or listened to by him. He’s an insecure, effeminate, sniveling little bearded hipster who doesn’t have much respect for women or even much desire for them as anything other than targets of conquest. I wouldn’t want to hang out with the guy or visit his lame-ass coffee shop. I don’t think much of him as a man and I doubt I could trust him to stand behind me in a bar fight or even make sure that the lug bolts on my track car’s wheels were properly tightened.

Nevertheless, this guy has slept with fifty women in two years.

So women like what he’s selling, even if men don’t. This is a situation with which I am terribly familiar; many times I’ve had some guy tell me that I look like “some kind of fag” with my long hair and my eclectic outfits and my shoe collection and my tinted-lens glasses. And rarely is the guy who tells me what a fag I am even close to matching my personal record of success with women. Therefore, the fact that I don’t much like Jared is irrelevant, because he’s in the business of being liked by women, not men. Hemingway was liked and admired by men but when it came to women he was a total beta bitch.

Jared, who practices acro-yoga and would probably lose to my six-year-old son in a straight fistfight, has fucked more women than Hemingway and Fitzgerald combined. Who’s more of a man? The rugged writer and masculine icon who drove an ambulance in the war and fought massive sailfish in the deep ocean, or the pasty coffee-shop guy who teaches women to take it up the ass and then dumps them over Facebook chat? Which one do you want to be, dear reader? Do you want to create something as brilliant as “A Farewell To Arms” and then put your mouth on a shotgun because you can’t bear your life, or do you want to sit in an Asheville micro-coffee-brewery and smirk with satisfaction at all the women who have “submitted” to you?

I’d rather be Hemingway. I think.

The next question is: why is the feminist community up in arms about this guy, when fifty of them have consented to be tied up and sodomized by him on an individual basis? The best answer I can come up with is this: his crime is failing to follow the narrative. Our society encourages women to be promiscuous — almost demands it, really. The template is that loathsome bullshit show Sex And The City in which the women whore around for free with a variety of gentle, decent men who worship them and treat them with respect and even when they can’t be bothered to be faithful (as with Chris Noth’s character, “Mr. Big”) they’re just so charming about it and you know that they truly love the women they’re banging even if it’s more than one.

Feminist literature portrays female promiscuity as a positive choice that empowers women and allows them to compete on a level field with men. Women read and watch that garbage and they truly believe it and then they wonder why they feel so sad all the time when they follow the directions they’ve been given, in much the same way that men watch beer commercials and wonder why our actual beer consumption seems to have a lot less of the Swedish Bikini Team and a lot more of ye olde crushing sorrow.

Nevertheless, it’s the lens that promiscuous women use to view their lives. That they’ve had these “flings” with men who will always treasure the moments and connections they shared, even though it was just for a short while. That every new man they find makes them more complete, even though in their hearts they know that it’s like a petal gets plucked each time. It’s a tenacious illusion, reinforced by years of garbage media and deceptive advertising.

Then they read something like Jared’s blog and see themselves in this dude’s eyes as the disposable fuckholes that, at heart, they always knew themselves to be, and they cannot handle it. They become angry with him. Because he refuses to play the role that they had set out for him. Because he didn’t see their time together the way they saw it. Because he refuses to embrace a unity of opinion with them. Because he has the nerve to not use their lens.

We’re all guilty of something like that. Some time ago, I was talking to a woman about this wonderful, romantic week we’d spent together on a beach and she said, “Meh. I got sunburned so badly on that trip.” So the week that I have kept close to my heart for years as a near-perfect moment with someone is just, to her, that one week where she got sunburned. I cannot say that I was not angry with her for feeling that way. But only a borderline personality would fail to see that she has a right to her own opinion. The problem is that when I heard that opinion, it changed how I felt. So now, that week will live in my memory not as The Week That I Slept Like A Contented Infant Next To My Soul Mate As The Children Played Outside On The Sand but as The Week That I Put 1,340 Miles On My Porsche And Scraped The Nose Of It In A Parking Lot.

Woo fucking hoo. Like opening a guitar case and finding something that had been beautiful rusted into meaningless junk.

So yeah, I can understand why those women are mad about it. But Jared isn’t a rapist. He’s not any kind of villain. He’s just someone who wanted to have meaningless sex with fifty other people and evaluate them harshly in retrospect. I wouldn’t trade places with him. I’d rather have that week on the beach with my old girlfriend, even though I know how she feels about it now, than ten or twenty of the “plates” and “pieces” he did acro-yoga with and then drifted away from after a couple incidents of safe but generic sex.

Persecuting Jared, as these various feminists and pansy-ass “allies” have been doing, misses the point that all fifty of his “subs” signed up for the program and, truly, their anger should be self-directed. They degraded themselves willingly and if they can’t handle what they did after the fact it’s not the coffee-shop guy’s fault. Not everything in this world can be laid at the feet of the government or a corporation or the man you woke up next to this morning. Sometimes you have to take the hit yourself.

We could close this column here and skip the most uncomfortable and unpleasant aspect of this “Waking Life Coffee” thing, except that I try not to shy away from the difficult or the uncomfortable. Might as well just get it out there: I wouldn’t want to date any of Jared’s “conquests”. I’m not interested in going out with someone whose self-esteem and self-worth is so low that they’d fuck that guy. I’m not interested in picking up his sloppy seconds. I had a woman once say to me, by way of defense, “Every adult woman has been somebody’s fucktoy,” but the line has to be drawn somewhere and, by God, I draw it north of that dude. If you tell me that you had a one-night stand with Michael Schumacher after he took the win at Monza, we’ll work it out. If you tell me that you picked up a guy in a local bar or an OKCupid meetup and you slept with him because you were lonely and depressed, I’ll consider the issue. If you tell me that you did nitrous oxide in a dentist’s office with some people you didn’t know and woke up in the middle of semi-non-consensual sex with some creepy bald mystery guy… Jesus, what made you do that? You were already married, for Christ’s sake! I wish you’d never told me!

Where were we? Oh yes. I judge you for sleeping with that idiot, women of Asheville. You should know better. Here’s a harsh fact: Men don’t want to put any more effort into sleeping with you than the absolute least amount it’s taken to get in your pants in the past. Don’t ask me to take you to Paris if you’ve fucked the bartender at your local Italian restaurant. Don’t expect me to buy you a fifteen-thousand-dollar diamond ring if you’ve turned a $250 trick in California. And don’t expect me to treat you like a princess if Mr. Acro-Yoga Coffee Shop treated you like a submissive.

What should Jared do if the screaming horde shuts down his business? Why, he should do what every good software company does when they go bankrupt: open the source. Name the names. From Number Four to Number Fifty. If his anonymity isn’t worth respecting, then he should publish the list of his “victims”, too. Pour encourager les autres. Maybe if enough of that happens, women and men will give up on the thoroughly worthless and damaging idea of consequence-free promiscuity. What if my son grew up in a world where he could marry the girl of his dreams and have a family with her and neither one of them would ever have to wonder about previous sex partners or shady behavior or nude selfies in the cloud?

Yeah. That’ll happen.

If you need me, I’ll be with my kid, going over the fine art of coffee roasting.

* * *

Here’s the text of the “My Fifty Lays” post:

A Breakdown of All My Lays

Recently there was a post on a prominent manosphere site (which I’ll not link here) insinuating that modern women have no greater desire than for men to be clowns. It was written by a prominent manosphere author whose collected works purport to tell the story of this author fucking large amounts of women. I’m reasonably sure he’s fucked more women than I have, but I am not sure if he’s taken nearly as much joy from the acts. This particular site often posts click-baity content that is whiny and pessimistic in nature. It paints things in bleak tones, inspiring men not to greater heights but lower depths of despondence. It’s not right.

Contrary to this hyperreality in which we often find ourselves mired, I believe that it’s possibly to reclaim healthy masculinity, and enjoy women (yes, even American women) to a large extent. This doesn’t mean game or self-improvement is easy. On the contrary, writing bitchy articles on a website is easy. Viewing the world as black-and-white is easy. Hating on women because you can’t get what you want is easy. Finding change, self-improvement, happiness, gratitude, and joy in a complex and ever-shifting world? That’s hard. But I think it’s worth it.

With that said, I’m going to analyze my own experience with women in order to shed some light on what women are really like. I can’t speak for the experiences of others, and most of my experience has come in my relatively small city. You should think for yourself regarding the nature of women. But here’s my breakdown – maybe it’ll help.

This begins with the first girl I fucked in late December 2012, after I dumped my long term ex – the one I thought I’d marry. My ex was the third girl I’d ever fucked, so we’ll start with the fourth. The format is source of meeting, face/body/personality rating, and the method in which the interaction ended. If I’ve mentioned them on the podcast I’ll try to remember the nickname and add that also.

2012

4. C. – OkCupid – 5/5/4 – Bail
Frisky little redhead, early twenties. Not very hot and talked too much. We fucked the first night for hours (the novelty of new pussy!) after she was done talking my ear off. I bailed on her because I wasn’t that into it. I see her from time to time, and she’s letting herself go a little. But she’s in a happy long-term relationship with a musician and they seem to really adore each other.

5. M. (SwampThunder) – OkCupid – 5/6/3 – Bail
The woman, the myth, the legend. Late twenties, large and in charge former volleyball player, kinky as hell. First girl I’d ever fucked in the ass. Not very interesting and I didn’t push to hang out after the second time. Still single as far as I know, and still riding the carousel.

2013

6. W. – OkCupid – 6/6/7 – Boyfriend
Sweet late twenties girl whom I met soon after she got out of a long-term relationship with an unambitious beta pothead. She was exploring her sexuality, and we hung out for a few months. Right as I was beginning to tire of her, she started seriously dating a guy ten years older with kids. They’re still together and I think she’s pretty happy.

7. K. – Cold Approach – 6/7/8 – Bail
Mid-twenties ginger with curves for miles. Cool personality, sassy but kind and feminine. I hit on her at a bar where she was working. We fucked for a month or so, then she got a little careless with respect for my time and I cut her loose. Fucked her again a year later on the boomerang. She’s now in a long term relationship with a fellow bartender and seems really happy when I see her.

8. J. – Business – 6/7/7 – Played
Mid thirties ginger, hippie with a rail-thin body. Crazy in bed like older girls tend to be. Lived in an RV and smelled like beeswax, but was smart and interesting. I hit on her at my business. We stopped seeing each other because I talked too much about game (I’d just read The Game and discovered the manosphere) and it freaked her out. Classic mistake. No clue what she’s up to, but I think she’s headed towards cat lady status.

9. K. – Social Circle – 5/5/4 – Played
Friend from when I was a freshman in college. Not very hot but we’d always had sexual tension, only I was too Christian to do anything about it. When we finally got around to fucking, the sex was fantastic. She got weirded out because I asked her to drop me off at another date like an asshole. I should have been more subtle. She was witty and smart, but self-absorbed and difficult to be friends with. Another cat lady candidate unless she loses some weight and starts being more empathetic.

10. B. – Business – 6/6/8 – Rejection
Met her in my business. Effervescent and witty early twenties blonde from New Jersey. We only fucked once but both climaxed simultaneously. She had just gotten out of a long term relationship and couldn’t seem to handle continual sexual encounters. Might have been my fault, might not have, but a rejection nonetheless. We stayed friends and she’s now in a long term relationship with an outdoorsy dude. She seems ecstatic.

11. K. – Business – 6/7/7 – Played
Late thirties MILF that I fucked in her basement while her kids were asleep. Slamming body for her age, and I’d never fucked a woman that old. We didn’t hang out again – I think she was only really interested in something serious. Her exes were abusive and I think she wanted beta comfort and stability. I still see her around – she’s single and seems to be doing well.

12. A. – Business – 7/8/4 – Played
Sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap. She was also dumb as a fucking brick. We fucked five or six times until she got feelings and couldn’t continue without monogamy. I wasn’t willing to be monogamous, so it ended. Moved away but still single to my knowledge.

13. M. – Business – 6/7/8 – Bail
Late twenties gypsy girl. Think Frida Kahlo with more feminine features, but the same amount of body hair. She read my future in tarot cards and we fucked, then didn’t hang out again. More of a novelty fuck, but she was sweet and empathetic. No clue what she’s up to nowadays.

14. M. – Cold Approach – 6/6/5 – Bail
Boring mid-twenties girl I approached at a boring bar. The first and second dates were boring, her friends were boring, and the sex was boring. I have no idea what she’s doing now, but it’s probably boring.

15. S. – OkCupid – 7/7/7 – Played
Sweet girl I’d vaguely known in college, reintroduced via OkCupid. Helped me immensely through a dark time. I didn’t fuck anyone else during the couple months we rendezvoused, but it was more from lack of energy for seduction than dedication to her. It ended when I couldn’t promise monogamy anymore. Caring, feminine, and empathetic. Not sure she’ll find the combination of alpha dominance and beta commitment she craves, but she’s a catch. Moved away but I think she’s single.

16. C. – Social Circle – 6/6/5 – Bail
Drunkenly made out with her at a party and things progressed opportunistically. Mid-thirties brunette with massive tits. I wasn’t feeling it so I let it wither, and she’s now in a long term relationship. A good bud of mine is her roommate, and he says she and her boyfriend get along like gangbusters. Good for her.

17. M. – Cold Approach – 7/6/7 – Logistics
Late twenties half-Chilean girl I met while on vacation in a central American locale. She had separated from her husband two days prior, and I was there for the rebound. Sweet, feminine, intelligent, ambitious. We’d have kept hanging out if not for the distance. She’s doing career stuff currently, no clue about her relationship status.

18. R. – Cold Approach – 8/8/4 – Rejection
Early twenties blonde student. I’d seen her in my business a year or two before and thought she was gorgeous. When I saw her at a bar the week after finals I couldn’t resist, and we fucked the next night. She left the next morning for Christmas break, and that was that. I tried to stay in touch but I think she viewed it as a one night stand. The only boyfriend she’d ever had was a lazy pothead, and I’ve no clue what she’s up to now. I’d wager she’s single and still having the odd one night stand.

19. A. – Cold Approach – 5/7/6 – Boyfriend
Late twenties steampunk girl with a weird face, cool personality, and a great body. Met her at a bar, got drinks, and had great sex for a few weeks. She ended up getting a serious boyfriend and reluctantly stopped fucking me. She’s now single again and seems to be unhappy about it, judging from her Facebook posts.

20. C. – Business – 8/8/9 – Boyfriend
I’ve talked about her on the podcast, early thirties brunette. Phenomenally caring person. Sweet, feminine, intelligent, and best of all – ridiculously kinky. Loves fucking girls and rough sex. She lives a few hours away but we fucked whenever we crossed paths for over a year. She knew the wall was coming, though, and got a boyfriend. They’ve had some ups and downs but seem to be stable currently. We’ll see. I’d love to fuck her again if their relationship falters, and maybe have a threesome.

2014

21. L. – Social Circle – 6/7/5 – Bail
Friend of my brother’s, met her at a party. Dominant and masculine acting in public, sweet and submissive in private. She’d been abused as a child and has some real issues. I stopped seeing her because she talked about not wanting commitment, then started acting clingy and dramatic. She’s had a boyfriend for a year or so and it seems solid.

22. L. – Tinder – 7/7/4 – Played
Early twenties friend of one of my employees, Tinder provided the introduction. Radical feminist on the outside, radical submissive in the bedroom. Loved being abused and dominated. Smart but very guarded. We never discussed it but I got hints of serious abuse in her childhood. She swore that she was polyamorous but couldn’t emotionally handle finding another girl’s hair in my bed. Freaked out and we never hung out again. Dated a guy with a heroin addiction and is now fucking randoms. Damaged goods.

23. A. – Tinder – 7/8/6 – Rejection
Twenty year-old blonde, ambitious, smart, sexy. Loved being tossed around. We fucked a couple times but I think I got a little needy because she was so cute and young. A little one-itis a day keeps the ladies away – I got a “not feeling this” text. She had a boyfriend for a bit but I don’t know what she’s doing now.

24. G. – Tinder – 8/8/9 – Logistics
Early twenties blonde model and a fucking rockstar. The only girl I’ve fucked who was hot enough, feminine enough, and interesting enough to be a long term option. One day while she was riding me and squirting all over me she said “If I was staying here I’d totally fucking date you.” I felt the same but she moved to the Pacific Northwest a week later. She has the red-pill awareness to know that her early twenties is the time to lock a man down. Thus she has a long term boyfriend whom I’ve met – he’s a chill dude. She and I are still friends and I’ll be on it like white on rice if she’s single again.

25. M. – Business – 7/6/7 – Played
Sweet, tall mid-twenties girl with interesting hobbies and a kind demeanor. I met her in my business and we fucked a few times before she decided she wanted something serious and ended it. I didn’t mind because her pussy was huge and the sex wasn’t that enjoyable. She’s semi-dating a musician acquaintance, and seems to be doing well.

26. C. – Tinder – 6/6/6 – Bail
Quick Tinder hookup who was in town for a night. I don’t remember much about her other than that she was a nurse in her early thirties and had great tits. I didn’t contact her again, even when she was back in town.

27. C. – Cold Approach – 6/6/7 – Bail
Tall early twenties farm girl I met in a bookstore. We spent several summer evenings fucking, including once on the porch in a thunderstorm. Interesting and sweet but I eventually let it slide because I got bored. She’s still mentally hung up on a high school guy who friendzoned her, and is currently single.

28. C. – Tinder – 6/7/6 – Bail
Early twenties scenester who just got out of a long-term abusive relationship. We mostly just did the fuckbuddy thing but she was interesting enough to while away a few summer hours with. I fucked her ass for the first time, then let it fade right before she moved out of town. I think she’s still figuring herself out.

29. E. – Tinder – 6/8/7 – Logistics
Super smart photographer down from New York. Early thirties, great body. I’d fuck her again if she was in town. Career woman so I’d imagine she’s single.

30. K. – Tinder – 5/5/4 – Bail
Chubby mid-twenties blonde in town for one night, so we hooked up in her hotel room. Chubby girls are easy. No clue what she’s up to but I’d rather not see her again.

31. M. – Tinder – 6/7/6 – Logistics
Early thirties lawyer who lives in my grandmother’s town. We hooked up while I was visiting. Smart and sexy. I’d probably fuck her again if it wasn’t too much effort. No idea whether she’s single, but given her career ambitions, I’d wager that she is.

32. A. – Tinder – 5/5/4 – Bail
Got catfished a little on this one. Late twenties brunette that looked way hotter on Tinder. She was down to fuck so I gave it a rut and then friendzoned her. I don’t know what she’s up to nowadays but she’s going to have to settle if she wants something long-term.

33. C. – Tinder – 8/8/8 – Boyfriend
Really sexy, feminine, generous mid-twenties brunette. MASSIVE tits. I fucked her ass for the first time, and she promptly got weird on me and withheld sex the next time we saw each other. I let it ride and found out later she’d been seeing her ex again. She got weird because I came in her ass while things were getting serious with him. They’re still together. She swore to me she wanted something casual but her need for stability drove her back to her ex.

34. N. – Tinder – 6/8/2 – Rejection
Skinny, trashy single mother in her mid-twenties. I fucked her ass, she shit on my bed, we went our separate ways and she never texted me back. I think she’s riding the carousel of bad boys until she can find a dad for her kids.

35. K. – Tinder – 6/7/4 – Played
This is the K. I mention a lot on the podcast. Early twenties self absorbed stoner with zero ambition. The sex was amazing and I helped her through some dark times (perhaps a touch of Save-A-Ho on my part). She caught serious feelings for me but we navigated it, and recently she’s realized I don’t enjoy her company and we’ve mutually parted ways. I hope she does well but she’s damaged goods.

36. M. – Tinder – 7/5/7 – Bail
Early twenties stoner who got out of her only relationship and wanted to explore her sexuality. I fucked her three times on various occasions (she lives an hour away) but haven’t really bothered contacting her. Seems more focused on weed than boys.

37. B. – Tinder – 7/8/4 – Boyfriend
Mid-twenties blonde with a killer body. Smart, stable, and secretly kinky. Her personality was a little too vanilla for my taste, but she got a boyfriend so it never became an issue. She seems pretty happy.

38. Dee – Business – 7/8/9 – Still Going
The legendary Dee of podcast fame. Met her in my business and it’s been pretty straightforward. Kinky, feminine, and highly intelligent. I wish she had a little more ambition but she’s got some irons in the fire. I don’t think it’ll ever amount to anything serious, but it’s thoroughly enjoyable.

39. B. – Tinder – 8 8 3 – Rejection
Really hot late twenties brunette. Fucked her once. She told me that she’d constantly cheated on her boyfriend of seven years and finally had the wherewithal to break up with him in order to ride the carousel some more. Totally invulnerable and guarded, and she stopped hanging out with me when I called her out on it. She couldn’t really handle the vulnerability I require. I would have kept fucking her. She’s probably going to be a mid-40’s barfly still hanging on to her glory days.

40. A. – Cold Approach – 8/7/7 – Rejection
The A. we’ve discussed on the podcast. Mid-twenties, smart, feminine, and incredibly sexy. She’d just gotten out of her only long term relationship when I met her at a breakfast joint. We fucked a few times but I got needy and acted incongruently, and she eventually told me to fuck off. She herself said she’d probably end up an old cat lady, but I don’t think that’s the case. She’ll end up with some chisel-jawed doctor and probably be reasonably happy.

41. E. (The Counselor) – OkCupid – 7/7/7 – Bail
Early twenties blonde, smart but guarded. Kinky – I fucked her ass for the first time. One of the most rational women I’ve been with. She eventually dated a guy for a few months before circling back around for a hookup. We made plans to hang out again but they fell through and I just let it lie. I think she’s drawn to stability and monogamy, but we’ll see.

42. M. – OkCupid – 6/7/6 – Bail
Cutesy, feminine mid-twenties brunette. We fucked a couple times but I let it ride. This sounds weird but she reminded me of my maternal grandmother and it was a boner killer. I don’t know what she’s doing currently.

2015

43. J. (The Rock Climber) – Tinder – 6/8/6 – Played
Twenty year-old rock climber that looked much cuter on Tinder. Great body though. I fucked her once and she had a boyfriend a week and a half later. She knew I was a player, and found someone who wasn’t. Good for her.

44. K. (Cosplay) – Tinder – 7/8/6 – Rejection
Deadpan early twenties blonde stoner. Fucked her on the second date, and the sex was solid. She texted me a couple days later and said that I didn’t “inspire her obsession.” From what she said, her pattern of previous sexual interactions had been monogamous trysts with nerdy reserved boys. No clue what she’s doing now.

45. J. (The Hairdresser) – Tinder – 7/8/6 – Bail
Mid-twenties prismatic-haired girl who just got out of a long-term relationship with an abusive and needy dude. I thought she was exploring her newfound freedom, but it devolved into a total fuckbuddy setup and I let it ride after she bailed on me twice. She is apparently now back with her abusive ex. Abuse is like quicksand, it seems to be hard to escape.

46. C. (Mexico) – Tinder – 7/7/7 – Bail
Early twenties brunette. Curves and huge tits with pierced nipples, fucked her twice. She was moving to Mexico within a couple weeks, so I didn’t take it seriously. The second time we fucked she told me that she felt guilty about sex and didn’t really like being promiscuous, which was really offputting. She also told me she couldn’t have sex sober. I didn’t text her again and I assume she’s drinking her problems away south of the border.

47. L. (Mental Health Worker) – Tinder – 7/8/8
Mid-twenties brunette. Professional, smart, self-aware if a little vanilla. Lives an hour away but I think we’ll hang out here and there. Career focused but I think she’d be down for something serious if the right guy presented himself.

48. J. (Churchsnake) – Tinder – 5/4/8 – Bail
Mid-twenties ginger whom I knew from church back in my Christian days. Really cool and self-aware but I only fucked her for posterity’s sake. She was also a good dirty talker on Tinder. She’s figuring out her sexuality and will probably enjoy her singleness for a year or two before getting into a relationship.

49. H. (Irina) – Tinder – 7/7/7 – Rejection
Early twenties blonde I fucked a few times before she got flaky. I think I sent her incongruent signals, as discussed in the last podcast. She might boomerang but she’s busy with college and probably won’t date anyone seriously until she gets settled post-graduation.

50. H. (Baby Girl) – Tinder – 6/8/8
Nineteen year-old perky, thick brunette. Kinky as hell, intelligent, and feminine. She lives forty-five minutes away but we fuck when we find time. I’ve really focused on giving her more comfort and qualification in the past week, and it’s worked wonders – she’s pinging me back hard and heavy.

That’s the women I’ve fucked since I started being honest about my own sexual nature and learned game. Going back through and analyzing them, I’ve noticed a few trends –

1) Monogamy. Most of these girls tended towards monogamous relationships, regardless of what lip service they paid to being “casual” or “open” or “fun.” Even the damaged girls skewed towards being monogamous – they were just monogamous with abusive or fucked-up men. Some of them overplayed their sexuality in order to seem wilder than they were. Only three girls were really riding the carousel in a blatant way – no. 5 (Swampthunder), no. 34 and no. 39. The rest valued stability and comfort more than they valued excitement. Rollo has covered hypergamy in depth, and his writing is mostly accurate to my experience of the female psyche. But I think that the need for stability and comfort kicks in much earlier than most of the manosphere believes.

2) It’s pretty difficult to find a woman that’s LTR material once your standards have been raised. No. 24 (G.) was the only one that comes close for me. Men’s problem is finding attractive, valuable women who will submit. It could be an issue of the small town in which I live, but the pickings are slim. Women don’t seem to have that problem – their problem is finding dominant, valuable men who will commit. Further, the biggest barrier to commitment with most of these women wasn’t their sexuality or their femininity. It was either that I didn’t find them beautiful enough or interesting enough to warrant commitment. Many of these girls could help themselves immensely by reading a few classic novels and working out a little. But they get attention regardless, so the motivation to better themselves isn’t present. It’s unfortunate. That said, I think it’s possible to find value. If you’re willing to hang around in the 6-7 range looks-wise, you can lock down a young, intelligent and feminine girl who will make a good partner and mother. The question is really how much you’re willing to compromise where beauty is concerned. Many of these girls would have made good partners for me, but only a couple had the potential for holding my sexual and romantic interest long-term.

3) The tropes about women communicating emotionally/covertly and not being able to handle conflict are very true. Any time I attempted to communicate with a woman like I would a man, things went awry. Women can, however, communicate very rationally about certain subjects – school, finances, etc. When it comes to matters of the heart, though, rationality is Greek to them.

4) Most of these women required some genuine desire on my part in order to continue seeing me. I had the best results with the girls I liked the most, barring any neediness on my part. In other words, if I didn’t have genuine affection for them, if I was pursuing them out of a compulsion or need, they would very quickly flake or stop showing interest. If I threw in a little calibrated genuine romantic emotion, combined with sexual dominance, it was relatively easy to keep them hooked. This is why 50 Shades of Grey is so popular – Christian Grey isn’t an asshole. He almost cares too much while still being sexually dominant. Women want to be swept up in an emotional whirlwind, and the more I tried to keep my “Alpha cool” the more they responded with flakiness or coldness. But my goal has also been harem-building, not one night stands. Your results may differ.

5) None of these women were really vindictive or spiteful. Any time I felt that vibe coming from them, I showed a little dominance and it quickly faded. Most vindictiveness is a shit-test – pass it and they’ll decrease. Fail it and they’ll increase. Unless she’s got BPD, in which case, RUN. But you knew that already.

I’m going to come back and read this over and make revisions when I’m not so tired, but I hope this gives some hope to men who have been flummoxed by the negativity and pessimism present in much of the manosphere. There’s no reason to be bitter – I had a great time with the vast majority of these girls and would fuck them again. Even the less enjoyable girls taught me lessons I still carry with me. Women do operate by different rules, but they’re not out to get you. They don’t want you to be a clown. They don’t want to crush you and make you into their slave. They just want to be deeply wanted, and they live in a society that doesn’t equip them to create value that warrants that desire.

36 Replies to “Look Into The Face Of The Man Who Seduced Fifty Women In Two Years — And Despair”

  1. Avatarkvndoom

    Pure gold. I had interactions with many of those personality types when I was heavy into online dating. I’m just so happy to be out of that life now. I’m happy where I am and with whom I’m sharing my life.

    In terms of sheer numbers though, I’ve seen time and time again that the most successful men are the ones who have the lowest opinion of the women they date. That subset of chicks who inwardly crave being unloved fucksticks is a scary thing. The real hurt comes when a nice guy gets tangled up with one of those. He doesn’t see it coming and often gets pussy-blind and doesn’t even realize when he’s knee deep in some bad shit.

    Reply
    • AvatarVolandoBajo

      Amen, to the Nth power!

      Like a geriatric old-timer sitting on the front porch of an old peoples’ home, and then jumping up suddenly and shouting “I’ve got it! I finally figured out women”, I finally saw how easily I was once attracted to attractive women looking for someone to “fix” their lives, and the price that it can cost.

      Fortunately, I finally ended up with the woman who is either the right one for me, or if she isn’t, she is better than I deserve, but I got her anyway.

      But the landscape is far more scary for single men, once you start to recognize what the real situation is.

      And the smarter a man is, the more he thinks he is immune to that kind of woman, and the more likely he is to get blindsided, usually more than once, if he has any “game” whatsoever.

      I confess that I was, and didn’t even see it until well after, more than a couple of times in my twenties and thirties, before I finally found the woman I wanted to be with exclusively.

      But like you, Jack, I also worry about what this Brave New World is turning into, as our sons grow into it.

      Reply
  2. AvatarCGHill

    I suppose some of the aggrieved ladies would have preferred eBay-style feedback: “AAA+++ Would screw again.”

    If nothing else, this reminds me that there is no concept on earth quite as ludicrous as “safe sex”: once the pants fall, there is no safety, and there never can be. Every time Tab A fits into Slot B, something happens to two people, and it never completely goes away. (Those oriented toward other logistics or vectors may edit as appropriate, but the truth of the matter remains unchanged.) This is sort of the B-side of Heraclitus’ observation that you can’t step into the same river twice. (Or, for that matter, 50 times.)

    Reply
    • AvatarVolandoBajo

      I saw a cartoon on a church bulletin board recently. People were represented as small circles, with either the male or female biological symbols attached. One male “circle” is speaking to one female “circle”, and one says “I’ve only been with two other people”, and the other replies “Me, too.”

      Behind them (to the left and right in the drawing), are two circles each, and behind each of those four circles, two more, and so on to a depth of about seven or eight. Included in the distant background is one circle that is highlighted, has several circles behind it, and it is saying “I lied!”.

      The point being that we are not only signing up for the activity of the person we chose to go to bed with, but all the people that those people went to bed with, and so on, making one’s actual exposure much greater than just the person one is going to bed with.

      And add that to the fact that condoms are at best have a failure rate of one percent, and that this is no longer a world where anything you can catch can be cured with a shot, and it becomes a scary thing to think about.

      I would like to think that I would be much more cautious now than I was when I was younger and “playing the field” so to speak, but who knows?

      I’m not trying to “sell” morality, just point out the changing face of sexual politics over the past few decades, but I would be surprised if a followup article five or ten years down the line wouldn’t show a far less cocky (no pun intended) man than the one whose picture is posted with this article.

      Reply
  3. Avatarkvndoom

    No surprise, I might add, that he’s SJW bait now. Worse people do worse things, but the SJW brigade only likes to come in for the kill when they see “Trending now” on one of their feeds.

    Reply
  4. Avatarjz78817

    “Nevertheless, this guy has slept with fifty women in two years.”

    no, he says he did.

    I learned back in 7th grade that guys will say anything to make themselves look good.

    I doubt that fatass has even jerked it to fifty women in two years.

    Reply
  5. AvatarOrenwolf

    My .02, Jack:

    *if*, in fact, as described, this man had consensual sex with all of these women (and I say this only because my care-o-meter isn’t high enough even to read his words, only yours), then I wholeheartedly agree with you in terms of him having done anything atrociously wrong.

    He sounds like a douchbag, and I would personally never post that post if I were him just because (as noted here) anonymity can be stripped away, but whether it was one woman or 50, he made his own questionable choices, and *so did the women*. And I’d feel exactly the same regardless of gender. He could’ve fucked fifty men and I’d feel identically.

    To that end though, I do believe that he should’ve expected backlash posting a list where it was pretty likely that with 50 entries, it would 1) gain notoriety, and 2) that would very likely result in someone recognizing their entry and all that would come with it, so again, one person or fifty, kissing and telling when it’s likely it’ll be national news is pretty thuggish. But I end my criticism there. And responding by outing them all because people see him as a douchbag is just calling for more douchbagery. Kissing and telling has consequences, now he gets to live with the opinions of others. He had his right to speak, now so do they.

    As for the woman as used goods trope in the latter part of your post? Women may choose not to be interested in well-travelled men, and vice-versa as well. To each their own, and you have every right to declare whatever line you choose, as do your partners. 🙂

    Reply
  6. AvatarFelis Concolor

    Thanks for the memories…

    As part of an annual talent show at a small college in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I witnessed a performance by several of the more musically talented students who decided the audience would enjoy a cover of the Nails’ classic “88 Lines about 44 Women.” I did not expect them to add 4 more bars to the original song to bring the total up to 52 names, the additional 8 being local campus denizens whose dirty laundry was widely known but never openly discussed until that particular performance.

    The sounds from the audience were an incredible mixture of heartfelt belly laughs and cries of shock and anguish; for those who have not experienced such a contrast, I do hope you get to enjoy that sensation at least once in your lifetime. The after-show pandemonium was loud, long and pretty damn good for 30 seconds of trolling.

    Reply
  7. AvatarTomko

    I only got to #20 on his list of dates before I lost interest. There is something so soulless about it. The kind of thing that the Police could write a song about 30 years ago.

    Reply
  8. AvatarHankChinaski

    Bravo. Nailed it.

    If he were to spill their identities they’d use some form of ‘revenge porn’ legislation to chuck him in the gulag.

    FWIW, the blogger that Jared disparages regarding clown game is Rooshv, but then he proceeds to prove his points fifty times.

    Reply
    • AvatarMrGreenMan

      The Roosh V journey post-cad is certainly interesting. He’s developed a Solomonic boredom with random sex – yes, I did that, there was no point to it.

      Reply
  9. Avatar-Nate

    ” I doubt that fatass has even jerked it to fifty women in two years.”

    Don’t .

    When I was still too young to appreciate anything better than random hit and quit sex , I discovered that just asking will more often than not , get you where you want to go .

    Obviously acting like a total jerk works too if you really want to bottom feed .

    -Nate

    Reply
    • AvatarVolandoBajo

      To which I would add, Nate, sometimes one is at the bottom, or close to it, yet doesn’t realize what their true position is (to borrow a phrase from backgammon).

      I don’t regret my past, but I wouldn’t want to repeat it, either.

      When I was younger, I thought that testing the waters successfully, on multiple occasions, would give me many happy memories in my “older” age…but in retrospect, it just makes me feel like I paid a good price for some marginal knowledge, and my biggest “memory” is that I am surprised that I escaped as unscathed as I did, and landed in a happy lifetime relationship with my wife. And even that required a lot of adjustment on both of our parts. But at least there was a good payoff in the end.

      All the running around left me with much less in the way of happy memories than I thought they would.

      As easy as hindsight is, I still would have waited, if I knew in advance that what I would be waiting for would actually be there.

      But it was, even though I didn’t know it. I am a lucky man. I don’t put down anyone who pursues different paths to happiness. Happiness is elusive, and often deceptive, and we all have to make our own way, the best we can.

      But I am at least glad that I was left with the feeling that most of my “conquests” were better women than what he feels his were. Note that I say “most”…the remainder were nightmares, whether on Elm Street or elsewhere.

      Reply
  10. AvatarVicMik

    “You try to play it cool, like you just don’t care
    But soon I’ll be playin’ in your underwear
    I’m like a mage with the magic spell
    You come like a dog when I ring yo’ bell”

    Weezer sings about it, rappers glorify the conquest – too bad this guy is not black – he’d otherwise be getting mad street cred. At least he didn’t knock any of them up (as far as we know)?

    He is just getting static because he is a goofy looking white guy who shouldn’t be getting laid. He should come out with a demeanor borrowed from (1) Ice Cube “you know my motto, I fuck the ho and hit the throttle” and (2) Ludacris “hoes in different area codes” and he should regain some control over the debate, no?

    Reply
  11. AvatarVolandoBajo

    My heyday was in the golden era…post pill, pre AIDs and other diseases not curable by a trip to a knowledgeable urologist.

    I was reasonably fit and reasonably good looking, and with above average brains.

    I went wherever I felt like, did whatever I wanted with whatever woman I could hook up with, but unlike the subject of this article, I didn’t use social media to connect, and I didn’t bother blogging or bragging about it. I was just down for the party to roll on, forever…or so I thought.

    In middle age, wondering how it would all end for me, I began to look more for quality than quantity, though I was never a bottom feeder. Not that I held out for high morals, either…

    There were enough notches in my belt so to speak, that I had no right to complain about how my love life had gone. But I was lonely, and left with a feeling that nothing lasts forever.

    Then one evening, I followed a strong feeling that I was supposed to go somewhere other than home after a hard week of fulltime work and grad school at night, and ran into a truly remarkable woman, like none I had ever met before.

    The big problem was that we had both always been able to get our way in relationships, and the big saving grace was that we were drawn to each other from the moment we met in a way that neither of us ever had been before.

    We struggled to learn to get along for over a decade, but refused to give up what we both knew was better than anything that had come before, or would come after.

    Over time, we learned to make accommodations for each other, and to learn to trust the love of the other for us.

    It was the only relationship I was ever willing to work at to make it work, and it was, and still is, the only relationship that has made me truly happy.

    We were lucky…the desire and the love was mutual, and we have been madly in love with each other from the night we met.

    I have no idea why this happened for me, as I had not been trying to be a good person to be with prior to that. But it did, it was, and is, mutual, and I am happier and more secure in this relationship than I used to think was ever possible.

    Playing the field was fun, but ultimately left a hunger that no amount of success with women could ever satisfy.

    And a chance meeting, if it was in fact chance, led to something I thought existed only in movies and romance novels, until the night she came into my life.

    The early years, learning to make adjustments for each other, and learning to understand that it was not all a great trick by the other one to get over on us, were the most difficult of my life.

    But the years after that have been so good that my only regret is that I didn’t find her when I was a younger man.

    Love can be played like a game, but when you have no choice but to play for keeps, or lose it all, that is when it all gets hardcore real.

    Ray Davies wrote a song with a chorus “If you have a friend on whom you can rely, you are a lucky man…”. She is that friend, the one I used to look for traces of, believing that it was not really possible.

    And now I have two friends on whom I can rely: her, and our son, who, like my relationship with her, is beyond my wildest imagination prior to their actual occurrence.

    I am not bragging, and with the exception of the webmaster, none of you have any idea who I really am, so there would be no purpose in my doing so.

    And I do not regret any of the running around that I did prior to meeting the love of my life, though it did at times contribute to the demise of otherwise good relationships.

    But I am totally grateful for having met the one who was, and is, the one.

    Even so, I understand the desire and the need to fill one’s empty bed with whatever option seems best at the time. It is just sad that so often the outlook and the outcome turn out to be so bleak.

    But hope springs eternal…and sometimes that hope is fulfilled. It certainly was for me, and right at the time when I thought I was beginning on the downhill side of life.

    In retrospect, I am glad that it is not such an easy choice to run wild these days, for my son, as it was for me. I sincerely believe that he will have a better chance of finding more true happiness if he focuses on finding a woman who is real, than he could ever have playing the game the way I played it, when I thought it was the only game in town.

    And as screwed up as society has become, as evidenced by the kind of backlash you noted in your article, I still believe that there are women who are not screwed up by the insane sexual politics of the present day. Mostly I feel it depends on what you are looking for…only the lucky few get more than they are looking for, even though they don’t believe that the more exists.

    But it helps to have an idea of what you are looking for, or at least hoping for. If you think the world is full of mediocre choices, chances are that that is all you will end up finding.

    Conversely, if you are looking for something better than the run of the mill, your chances are improved for finding it.

    I just wish I had known that when I was sixteen, instead of spending a couple of decades thinking I was living the good life, but remaining lonely inside, even when I had a good looking woman sleeping next to me.

    But all is well that ends well. And for me, it certainly has, though you might have doubted it if you had seen me in the early days of our relationship, when we had to learn to adjust to each other’s ways.

    But the game has been entirely worth the candle, and then some. But it makes me sad to think how many people, especially young people, think that that kind of all-in true love is just a fantasy.

    I learned better, but only after I ran into it head on. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Reply
    • Avatar-Nate

      When lightning strikes…..

      IMO , it was a good thing I experienced all the loneliness and sadness so I could better appreciate that gem when we met by chance , of all places , @ jury duty .

      -Nate

      Reply
      • AvatarWill

        I guess you were sentenced to marriage…..

        You had innocent intentions when you walked in that day….

        I guess there were 13 members of the jury that day

        /shows self out

        Reply
  12. Pingback: dustbury.com » The power to reason away

  13. AvatarWill

    He’s a villain, but the porn star chick (sorry, girl who wrote her thesis and graded all the men on it, then publicly published it) is a hero? I don’t get it.

    50 chicks isn’t very hard, you could, if you tried, do it in about 60 days in NYC. The women there are so pathetic and desperate, it’s hilarious. Absolutely starved for actual “men”. Just be decent.

    I myself have never been a skirt chaser, it’s too boring, and let’s be honest, most women aren’t much fun or that interesting either.

    Reply
  14. AvatarDomestic Hearse

    A work friend. He’s a short Italian. Not fit. Not handsome. Roman nose his most prominent feature. He’s funny in a stupid funny way. And he’s fucked more women than anyone I know. He’s a statistician. He goes into a bar, has a few drinks, then makes his rounds.

    Hi, I’d like to have sex with you.

    No pickup line. No buying drinks. Just cuts straight to it. Going in, he knows that 9/10 women will reject him. 1/10 will slap him. 3/10 will try to ignore him. 3/10 will laugh, talk a bit, then blow him off. 1/10 will slap him. 1/10 will try to pour a drink on him. But he knows if he keeps going, 1/10 will say yes. He just has to get through the first nine. For the ones who get indignant or act offended, he just smiles.

    Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?

    It’s that easy. So easy, a homely little Italian guy who specializes in fart-joke humor can do it. You just have to have the balls and fortitude to stick with it.

    Reply
      • AvatarDomestic Hearse

        jz78817,

        I didn’t say he had high standards. He was simply doggedly pragmatic.

        He was also a car salesman for years. His sense of rejection had long since been left behind. Knew that if he kept going, sooner or later, someone will say yes.

        What do you think most of those women in the bar were there for in the first place? Cut to the chase. Be direct. Ask for the sale. No bullshit. Move on, don’t waste time.

        YMMV.

        Reply
    • AvatarVolandoBajo

      I believe you, Domestic Hearse.

      My best friend in HS was the only HS guy who got a job as a lifeguard at the beach where we lived, in FL.

      One of the older guards was nicknamed PeeWee, because he was at most about 5’4″ or thereabouts.

      And PeeWee used to have some of the most outrageously good looking women show up at the beach, looking for him. And he was frequently seen out on the town, or in the local beach bar, leaving with a good looking woman.

      So naturally, my buddy Sonny had to ask him how he managed to date so many women. His reply was simple. “After I get off work, a bit before sundown, I stroll down the beach, and when I see a goodlooking woman sitting alone, I go over and chat with her for a few minutes. And after a few minutes, I ask her if she’d like to go out to dinner, and some dancing afterwards. And I’d add that maybe we could go over to my place afterwards, if we were both in the mood.”

      He said that he averaged about ten rejects and an occasional slapped face (this was of course in an earlier, more prudish time), before he would find a woman who appreciated his direct approach.

      And since many of them were on vacation and had a limited number of opportunities for fun, there would almost always be at least one who said yes. And he said that if he got them to the point where they were laughing over drinks and dinner (he was a funny guy, and with better material than fart jokes), it was almost all downhill from there.

      So Sonny and I eventually distilled his wisdom down to (1) don’t be afraid of rejection — you have to try a lot to win once; (2) don’t try to be indirect and try to sneak up on the subject — tell them exactly where you are at, while leaving them time and room to make up their minds; and (3) have enough personality to be able to carry on a conversation and to make a woman feel like she was special, if only for the evening.

      I have read some of the PUA blogs, and was not very impressed…seemed like mostly it was a quantity over quality approach…a score was a score was a score.

      But PeeWee always aimed high, and he enjoyed the results.

      I also became friends with one of the most beautiful girls in my HS, who was a senior when I was a sophomore, because we sat next to each other in homeroom. It also helped that I played football with her younger brother, and had some of the same college and life goals as her two older brothers. I am at best a bit better looking than average, and a bit smarter…enough that I appreciate it, but nothing to brag about.

      But she said I should never be afraid to approach a goodlooking woman, to try to talk to her. She (being a drop dead gorgeous classic not-dumb blonde) knew what she was talking about.

      She said that most men think that a beautiful woman is looking to find a handsome man. But if the woman isn’t shallow, she is likely to mostly be bored with handsome men, who are often shallow because they rely on their looks.

      She said that most really beautiful women are looking for a man who is either intelligent (and respects their intelligence), is funny, and/or makes them feel secure. The latter applied to both their ability to defend themselves, and their ability to make the woman feel like she was more than just a conquest. Her name is/was Carole, and to this day she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever known. So she wasn’t just talking to be talking…and I have found her advice to be quite true.

      Combining PeeWee’s ideas with what Carole taught me leaves me singularly unimpressed with most PUA systems.

      But it isn’t hard to get whatever you want, if you know what it is that you want, and what it takes to play in that league. And often what it takes to play is not what most people think it is…but in a nutshell, if you want quality, you have to sacrifice a bit of quantity.

      Ironically, one of Carole’s older brothers had been a Golden Gloves champion, and was almost a zero in the looks department, yet most of the goodlooking friends of his sister’s, as well as other good looking, even beauty queen level, women, were all trying to get Carole to set them up with a date with her brother, Paul. Yet he stayed away from most of those “easy conquests”.

      When I asked him why, he said he didn’t want to waste his time with a bunch of whores, and then ruin his chances to find and win a really good woman for a wife. I thought it just might be that he was insecure around them, but he ended up marrying a very nice woman and had a nice family, so he must have been on to something. But I also found out years later, when I ran into someone five or six states away who know PeeWee, that he ended up doing the same also. So go figure…

      Unfortunately for me, it took me a couple of decades more before I began to see the wisdom of Paul’s approach.

      But in the end, for me, it all came together when I was “struck by lightning” the evening I met my wife. And fortunately for me, it was mutual. The only unfortunate part, as I have said before, was that both of us were just smart enough and goodlooking enough to become accustomed to getting our own way in relationships. And obviously, that can’t work for both people all the time. So there was a long time of adjustment. But there was an inexplicable bond/attraction that was strong enough to bring us both around to finding a way to change enough to get along with each other without having to have things go our way all the time.

      I still don’t understand how that works…all I know is that when I was old enough and experienced enough to think that stories like that were fairy tales straight out of Hollywood, I found myself right in the middle of one.

      To this day, and forever, she has been and will always be, the one true love of my life. I would even give my life for her, if it was necessary, to ensure her happiness. And before her, I wouldn’t put up with any significant inconvenience in a relationship. But what happened was enough to completely snap me into a different universe.

      But absent such an earth-shattering, world-changing event, I would still advocate for quality over quantity.

      Mr. Coffeeman, on the other hand, seems to have valued quantity over quality. It almost seems like he was seeking comfort, reassurance and possibly vengeance, for the crash and burn ending he had with number three.

      The “modern” PUA scene reminds me of the phrase “knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.” But there is no reason, other than a conscious decision, for any man to be a forty year old virgin. It just depends on how hard you are willing to try, and what you are willing to settle for. Still, there is such a person every now and then…usually someone looking for Miss Right. But as the joke goes, when the person looking for Miss Right found her, he found out that she was looking for Mr. Right, so he was still SOL.

      Reply
      • AvatarDomestic Hearse

        Volondo,

        I married a 10 with a doctorate. She has looks, brains, and an even better heart. Everything you’ve said is exactly how and why she married me.

        Mr Coffee — I pity the man. My friend who “plays the numbers” at the bars — him too. I do not envy single people and today’s dating game. Too cold and cynical.

        Reply
  15. Avatar-Nate

    ” I don’t believe a word you wrote.”

    Believe it ~ unless you hold out for super models , getting laid is as easy as breathing .

    Finding one you want to talk to after , takes a bit of effort .

    Just ask Jack .

    -Nate

    Reply
    • AvatarDomestic Hearse

      Getting sex is easy. Finding love though….and keeping it? Now that’s work. And commitment. And a choice you make every day.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.