Housekeeping: Jomashop Knows Too Much

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You know what’s super scary? When Jomashop suggests that you buy a blue-handed white-face Omega Speedmaster Broad Arrow… and you already own a blue-handed white-face Omega Speedmaster Broad Arrow. And they suggest a TAG Formula One, which you owned during most of the Nineties before the Franklin County Jail “lost” it. But just when you think they know everything about you, they go and suggest a million-dollars Audemars Piguet. Idiots. Everybody knows that I prefer the Patek Nautilus and the IWC Ingenieur and, just possibly, the Vacheron Overseas.

Let’s once again steal an idea from C.G. Hill at Dustbury.com and see what search-engine terms are bringing people to this site.

“seiko watch military mhd 02 customized price malaysia”: Alas, I had a temper tantrum somewhere in Texas (or was it California, or was it New Jersey?) and threw my “Fifty-Five Fathoms” customized Malaysian Seiko 5 out of the window at speed. If you find it, keep it.

“aria guitars on ebay”: I’d prefer you didn’t bid them up.

“steven lang cars”: I’ll take “Somebody you can’t trust and the primary thing you shouldn’t buy from them” for $200, Alec.

“turn up the eagles the neighbours are listening”: They stabbed it with their Steely knives / but they just can’t kill the beast!

“girl fucking so hard in river side pic”: Sorry, we only have photos of the Allman Brothers, naked.

“name of album of allman brothers naked”: When you realize what it is, you’ll freak out.

“bbw spock pix”: They’re out there.

“hoffman aja best cd”: Apparently, it’s not the MoFi.

“jack baruth black flag”: It’s time to raise it and start slitting throats, like H.L. said.

“how good is 996tt”: Better than the other 996es.

“white knight orbiter beta”: Check Stef Schrader’s Facebook page.

“early eighties photos of amature nude redhead”: Would you settle for late Nineties photos of a semi-professional nude redhead? I have those.

“forever incel”: Check Stef Schrader’s Facebook page.

“rodney harrison hates 8th place trophies”: Who doesn’t?

“give me the steps on how to sow cloth and their materials that each types of cloth will consume like native wears,suit,round neck polo uniforms , and with those one i don’t mention”: No.

“honda cb 1100 famous owners”: Well, there’s me, and there’s…

“hope solo selfie”: Don’t, brother. Just don’t.

That’s all for today, folks!

19 Replies to “Housekeeping: Jomashop Knows Too Much”

  1. niclas

    Any idea if these “amature” enthusiasts of fiery women are looking for a mature redhead, or an amateur redhead..?

    Reply
  2. roamer

    Okay, I have to ask. What led to the tantrum that induced you to throw a Seiko 5 out the window? Did the customizations make the watch unusable?

    Reply
  3. forzablu

    What’s the deal with Steven Lang? Whenever I read something from him I get the sense that he’s the kind of person that would spend an extra two hours to save a buck and feed his kids food from the dollar store just to save some coin — in short, the slimiest. but the curmudgeons in the B&B at TTAC have seemed to always love him and his hair shirt advice.

    Reply
  4. galactago

    apologies if this has been done before:

    “They stabbed her with her Steely Dan / but they just can’t kill the beast!”

    Reply
  5. hank chinaski

    For a barrel full of lady parts that was about as un-feminine a thing I’ve ever seen, a 2016 US version of the caricature of 60-70’s East German/Soviet female athletes.

    Chick really likes her brown eye.

    still, 7/10 w.b., with ladder.

    Reply
    • Reese B

      That’s the correct answer. I’ll even go 8/10. Not for the looks, but because I bet she could give me kids that would all look like Dolph Lundgren with brown hair.

      Jack, I have questions about Natuzzi furniture and Ross Bentley, and you’re the only person I know who’s familiar with both. Can I e-mail?

      Reply
  6. Ken

    I love this site.

    On a side note – would it be possible to get a “best of Jack” category? I’ve sent a few friends to the site telling them to read you. The ones that make it to articles like “Tag the Sponsor”, “Teenage Sleepovers”, “Rodney Tales” or other general feminist / incel / office drone / entertaining social commentary / random car stories – enjoy the site and stick around. Usually its when one of these articles are on the home page – which is sorted only by date.

    Others can get lost pretty quickly and with today’s average attention span – move on even quicker.

    A best of Jack link would be just the thing to get those hooks in new readers quickly.

    Oh – and thanks for the Weekly Roundups. I do so enjoy those.

    Reply
    • Jack Baruth Post author

      I have no idea what the “best of Jack” is — the stuff I like often disappears without a trace!

      But let me come up with a “collection” or something like that for a link.

      I appreciate the idea!

      Reply

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