Weekly Roundup: She Can Leave, But It’s Going To Cost You Edition

One of the commenters here clued me in to the fact that Russell Crowe is having a post-divorce auction. His wife, shown here in post-Wall-impact status at her current age of forty-eight, decided she needed to dump ol’ Maximus. In consideration for being the highly-compensated wife of a dude that about half of the female world would have blown in a studio bathroom for free, Ms. Spencer received an $11 million home and $20 million in cash. Talk about the art of the deal.

Meanwhile, Russell says “Once I commit to something, I stick with it, so you never know… I’ve loved Danielle Spencer since 1989; that’s never going to change,” he said. Oof. Dude, get a hold of yourself.

The auction is already over — Australia is thirteen hours ahead of the East Coast — but click the jump anyway to see some of my favorite items and also, incidentally, what I wrote last week. Oh yeah… the title is, of course, a reference to Anna Gaye’s caustic statement regarding her own divorce and the musical response given by her husband.

Crowe wore this in Gladiator‘s final scene.

An 1870 Martin guitar made from Adirondack spruce and Brazilian Rosewood.

A 1945 Omega automatic in 18k gold.

All good stuff in good taste and I hope it all found a good home. Alright, let’s get to last week’s articles.

At TTAC, I told some young reprobate to buy a GT500. Brother Bark told you about a car that feels like despair.

For R&T, I shared my concern about dangerously misinformed trackday coaches and made a Fleetwood Mac reference in a test of the six-speed BMW 430i coupe.

This evening we will have a great new piece by Mr. Klockau, so come on back now, you hear?

37 Replies to “Weekly Roundup: She Can Leave, But It’s Going To Cost You Edition”

  1. Avatarhank chinaski

    Ouch. As with owning a boat, take your total carrying costs and divide by each time you actually go out on it.

    • Avatareverybodyhatesscott

      If it flys, floats or f***’s, rent it. 80-90% of the guys I know who are married or have a long time gf are completely pussy whipped. It makes me terrified of marriage.

      • Avatar-Nate

        Scott I think you may be right here ~

        I’m still quite happy with SWMBO as we slide into old age but I don’t plan to ever marry her nor anyone else again, once has me guy shy for life .


  2. Avatar-Nate

    Reminds yet again how incredibly lucky I was when the ex bugged out leaving me with a 12 year old man child to raise, telling me “and you can keep all your old cars,trucks and Motocycles plus this ghetto house too ! ” .

    She gladly quit claimed on it was it was seriously underwater at the time, only a retard cares what his _home_ is worth resale, you’re supposed to buy it to live and die in, not pretend you’re some T.V. flash in the pan unless that’s your actual job .


  3. AvatarJohn C.

    I agree with Bark about the differences between the cars the reviewers drive and the ones actually sold. The effect was especially distorting in the eighties when the cars tested were almost always the rarely sold manual version. This tended to make the import look more competitive. The domestic alternative with the extra displacement, torque, and smoother automatic got no credit for any of the advantages. Then the people bought the import automatic not knowing what they are missing.

    • AvatarDougD

      Apparently ‘The Wild Oats Project’ is worse. Collect cash and prizes while writing a book as you blow up your marriage.

      My Mrs read ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ and found it shallow and self absorbed. ‘Give others something to Eat, Pray for others, and Love others’ won’t sell in these days, apparently.

      Always marry the mechanic’s daughter who rides a motorcycle and can change oil 🙂

  4. Avatarrich

    Jack I thought Russell was excellent in “The Far Side of The World”. Have you read any of the Aubrey/Maturin novels on which the film was based? What do you think?

    • AvatarRonnie Schreiber

      That was a fine movie. I thought the Hornblower series with Ioan Gruffuld was very good as well. Nothing wrong with a good swashbuckler.

      • Avatarrich

        Oh man, you are in for a treat! Start with “Master and Commander” (1969). You’ll find it’s on a completely different plane to the Hornblower books.

        • Avatarrlplaut

          I agree with you Rich,

          Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey–Maturin series provides detailed descriptions of the technicalities, capabilities, and operation of British naval warships during the early 1800s. If you ever thought these bulky sailing vessels were clumsy and not all that effective, O’Brian’s books will change your mind. These wooden British warships were the carrier groups of their day.

          The movie was a combination of two or three (or four) of the original novels.

          These stories are best read in sequence. I also enjoyed insights into the minds and habits of British sailors and their almost obsessive care in cleaning and caring for both their sea and land based homes.

          • Avatarhank chinaski

            Agreed, a great film and I believe at the time greatly overshadowed in the box office by the concurrent release of ‘Return of the King’. I wouldn’t expect to see another of its like given the absence of strong womyns.

            A more recent release of Crowe’s, ‘The Nice Guys’ was a decent buddy cop performance with Gosling, other than the squirm inducing role of the tween daughter character. Hollywood really is a den of degenerate pedophiles.

  5. AvatarWulfgar

    It costs you whether they want to leave you or you want to leave them. Not sure how that makes sense but the costs of freedoms are always high.

  6. AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

    The reason a divorce cost so much, is because it’s worth it.

    I have been married once, 41 years ago and it lasted for 4. Lesson learned.

    There was a writer for the Atlanta Journal Constitution named Lewis Grizzard who penned in one of his columns (after his 3rd divorce); I’m not gonna get married again. What I plan to do, is every 6-7 years I’m gonna go find a woman I hate and buy her a house.

    I’m neither rich enough, nor inclined enough to do what he claimed he would do.

    Russel Crowe had an interesting assortment of guitars. I’m curious what that 1870 vintage Martin will end up selling for.

  7. AvatarDuong Ngyuen

    For some reason I thought the 4 series was just a coupe version of the 3 series… i

    I went to a BMW M Track Day and couldn’t figure out why the M3 felt so much more responsive… Now it makes sense, the M4 is bigger and heavier.

  8. AvatarGene

    There’s some patched together Fleetwood Mac Live! album streaming on Amazon from the early years, and it is one of my very favorite solitary drinking soundtracks ever.

    Come to think of it, the evolution of the band has a lot in common with the evolution of most men who get married.

  9. AvatarRonnie Schreiber

    My favorite iteration of Fleetwood Mac was when it was a British blues band with Peter Green and Jeremy Spencer. Unfortunately both of them became acid casualties. Green developed schizophrenia and Spencer joined the Children of God cult (now known as The Family).

  10. AvatarGeorge Denzinger (geozinger)

    Weird coincidence… My new financial advisor looks just like Danielle Spencer.

    I mean, just like her. They could be twins.

    But my new financial advisor is short, about 5’0″. I’m guessing the former Mrs. Crowe is a bit taller.

  11. AvatarAoletsgo

    Master and Commander and Gladiator are two of my favorite movies. While Russell can be a bit boorish he does a fine job in these two movies.
    However, the real gold is in the soundtracks for these movies, they are brilliant yet sublime.

  12. Avatar-Nate

    Mr. Russel is a boor to be sure but he knows his craft very well and that’s all that really matters .


  13. Avatartyates

    FYI the real gem in the TTAC article is in the comments – J Baruth responds to the question: “which of your vehicles gets you the most female attention”? Of course its useless to me since I live in Beverly Hills where even an i8 doesn’t get much notice. Hmm, there might be a good Ask Jack here.

    • Avatar-Nate

      99% of the time I’d say your choice of wheels makes no difference but I know a crazy (maybe crafty ?) broke fellow who bought a cherry AMC Gremlin Denim Edition and used it to woo a whole slew of rich single elderly White Women, he married the richest of the bunch and filled her back yard & garage with old dead cars….

      Wouldn’t work for me but maybe for you ? .

      Buy a Bently or McLaren and see if the local skits are impressed .


      • Avatareverybodyhatesscott

        Motorcycles definitely help with girls. I think you have to get into supercar territory for a car to get as much attention as a relatively cheap cool looking bike. I’d guess the sports bikes and naked sports bikes do better than a Harley but I’ve never owned a Harley.

        • Avatartyates

          Well I could get a Honda Goldwing and tell everyone I just finished up my round the world trip. But then I’d try to lane split it through LA traffic and scrape all of the paint off of the sides.

          My current car here is a bright red Elantra GT which is practical and fun to drive and a great value and a great family errand / road trip car and, I’m coming to the conclusion, was probably a great big mistake. I feel like I checked off every box with this car, unfortunately they were all the wrong boxes.

          I’m not saying I should have walked six blocks to the Ferrari dealership, but I could and should have done better. In my dot com glory days I had a tiptronic Boxster and a Ninja in my driveway, and I actually have more money now than I did back then thanks to my wife having the only talent Hollywood really cares about – the ability to sell their sh… I mean fine products… in foreign markets. So at least I should have gotten a Golf GTI for gods sake.

          If it’s any consolation, my neighbor screwed up more than I did – he is a 55 year old guy with a white Lexus CT200h – basically a heavier Prius with the angry video game boss grille (per Doug Demuro). So I guess I dodged that bullet.

  14. AvatarShocktastic

    $20 million in cash and an $11 million mansion? Given his career, earnings, & royalties, that’s a pretty clean & painless break unless he’s been stripped clean by bad accounting & poor financial advice.

    • Avatarrnc

      Ole Johnny had hard time coming up with the $7 million for his divorce, apparently making $100’s of millions and not losing everything to stupidity is difficult (actors, athletes, lottery winners, etc.)

  15. AvatarGraham

    Spotted a “chucking” in place of a “chuckling” in the driver coach piece. Pilots are often taught the incorrect theory of lift (Bernoulli), but fortunately that has nearly zero effect on their ability to fly.

    430i piece led me to read your Giulia review. Only hope for the 2.0L is a Magnaflow from Centerline: https://centerlinealfa.com/catalog/corsa-exhaust-giulia. Heard a Pentastar Jeep bury the throttle recently, and from outside the car, it sounds like a slightly restrained version of an Alfa V6.


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