(Last) Weekly Roundup: Putting The Hog In Hogwarts Edition

After more than a decade of driving other people’s race cars, I’ve learned that it’s important to have The Talk as early as possible in the negotiation process. I’m not referring to “the talk” that black parents are supposed to have with their children about the police, or Derbyshire’s “the talk” that white parents are supposed to have with their children; I think both of those “talks” verge on the ridiculous. Rather, I’m referring to “the talk” about whether or not I’m going to fit in their race car.

Sometimes, as with the vast majority of GT4 racers and other customer cars, it’s not an issue. Other times, as with the majority of vintage open-wheel racers, it’s a complete impossibility. For the ones in the middle, such as the McLaren MP4-GT3 or a Caterham 300.R, it’s a matter of making it work. My fitment issues usually center around my exceptionally long torso and wider-than-normal shoulders — but there are also times that I’m just too fucking fat to fit into the seat.

Being too fat to fit into a race car does not make me a victim. It’s a reflection of my choices. Being too tall to fit into a race car does not make me a victim. It’s a natural consequence of being six-foot-two with short legs. There are writers out there, such as Chris Harris or Sam Smith or my own brother, who are literally a better fit for those opportunities. I don’t feel victimized by that. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt victimized by anything.

Apparently, I’m really missing out.

It was the depression and disgust surrounding Donald Trump’s election that sent me into a YA fantasy endurance run where I went so far as to purchase an armchair for my round-the-clock bedroom reading… My dear friend Ruha ― who has been a guest on my “Woman of Size” podcast about the discrimination against fat women’s bodies ― wrote: “Heads up. I was kicked off the Hogwarts ride because I didn’t fit. It was humiliating but they gave me front of the line passes to rest of the rides at Universal. Just be aware.” …The four of us were taken to the beginning of the line where another 20-something informed us that for safety reasons, the restraint covering a rider’s chest must click down three times. She asked us to try out the test seat and my friends all looked over at me because I was obviously the fat one who caused our current predicament… Exclusion is a powerful weapon. I have support on all sides telling me that my investigations into size-based discrimination are helpful and important, and my community of people combating this issue is steadfast and intelligent. Despite all that, I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I wished I were small enough to take the Hogwarts ride. That’s the impact of exclusion: It makes a person internalize an entire system of institutional hatred…
At Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida, the locking mechanisms on the Hogwarts ride were adjusted in 2010 to safely accommodate bigger bodies, but not before this man was “inspired” to lose weight so he could be allowed on board. That’s wrong. Exclusion and shame are not motivational techniques; they’re forms of bullying. Exclusion makes me, a logical and educated person, believe that I’m at fault for not fitting into this ride instead of recognizing that rides should accommodate all people’s bodies. Apply this thinking to race or gender discrimination or disabled accessibility, and you have yourself the hot stew we’re in today.

You can read the whole pathetic story here, if you like, but it was the bolded sentence above that represented the proverbial last straw for me, because I’ve seen the other side of this “fat acceptance” policy. Last year I took my 52-inch-tall, 50-pound son to a couple of amusement parks and I watched him bounce around in the “fat-friendly” seating that is part of most modern roller coasters. He was a pinball in a cage on pretty much every ride, and it was painful enough for him to eventually give up on the idea of riding more coasters. There were just a few exceptions. The “Racer” at Kings Island was fine for him and he didn’t feel uncomfortable. At Cedar Point, the “Blue Streak” and “Corkscrew” were fun and non-painful for him. If you’re not a member of American Coaster Enthusasts (ACE), I’ll spare you the lookup time: the newest of those coasters was built forty years ago.

Back when amusement-park rides were designed for CHILDREN.

Not for 35-year-old women whose emotional reaction to the election of an American president was to disappear into a special chair for a year so she could indulge in unfettered infantile behavior and limitless self-pity. In any sane world, this woman wouldn’t be going with friends to Orlando so she could pretend to be Harry Potter. She would be taking her children to an amusement park so THEY could enjoy the rides. But she has no children. Instead, she has an extended childhood with no end in sight. Even though she’s already lived longer than the vast majority of her ancestors.

Furthermore, it’s not enough for her to be a child. She has to also appropriate the language, behavior, and mindset of minorities who face discrimination. The way she yaps on about “sizeism” and “sizeist” people. Lady, THAT’S NOT A REAL WORD and IT’S NOT A REAL THING. But we live in a world where victimization is virtually the only effective social currency left and she will be God-dammed if she doesn’t get a piece of it for herself. She’s Martin Luther King and the Harry Potter ride is her “Bull” Connor.

Let me tell you something: She’s going to get her way on this. Universal Studios will eventually make the ride fat-friendly. It will be more uncomfortable and even dangerous for children as a result, but children don’t spend money like Miss Butterbeer here and neither do their financially-strapped parents. Furthermore, the child who turns into an adult is a customer for a relatively short time. The perpetually stunted woman-child, on the other hand, will do business with you for the next thirty years. This past weekend, I had a conversation with my son that went something like this:

“Do you want to go to Cedar Point this year?”

long pause

“I… guess. Also, we could go to (name of indoor karting place).” I can’t blame him. The indoor karting place doesn’t expect him to use the same equipment as a 350-pound middle-aged woman. It’s not designed around the expectations and beliefs of people who are too emotionally stunted to have even the most fleeting encounter with objective reality. It’s just a nice place for kids to have fun. Which is what amusement parks used to be.

Mark my words, this society cannot persevere if it consists solely of childless people pretending to be children as they compete for the gold medal in the Oppression Olympics. It’s all well and good to terminate all inconvenient childhoods so you can keep your own but unless all this recent research on reversing telomere-chain degradation pays off the endgame is gonna be bleak. And what happens when the Childhood-Industrial Complex realizes that the supply of thoroughly infantilized American adults is drying up due to natural causes? What’s their endgame?

Good luck with that.

* * *

Last week, I told R&T readers the story of a Cross-Fire Corvette and discussed what to do when the worst happens at a trackday.

Brother Bark made a Guide joke in his TTAC article, while I answered a truck question and considered crossover ennui.

Alright, you muggles, it’s off to the, um, magic chamber… the hell with this, I’ve never read a single word of Harry Potter. When I want to read young-adult fiction I pick up Barry Hannah.

68 Replies to “(Last) Weekly Roundup: Putting The Hog In Hogwarts Edition”

  1. AvatarDavid Florida

    “…unless all this recent research on reversing telomere-chain degradation pays off the endgame is gonna be bleak.”

    Please, will someone also explain to the morbidly obese victim people that all the therapies in the universe won’t work unless one also is moving one’s ass on a regular basis? Dr. Cooper is no sizeist…

  2. AvatarRobert

    We took our children to Orlando on vacation last summer and rode that very ride. At 5’11 and 250 pounds, I was officially fatter than the town dog. Getting the harness 3 clicks down was very unpleasant and I had a hard time breathing on the ride. I recognize this is entirely my fault and resolve to actually fit in the damn thing the next time we go. To hell with people like this.

  3. AvatarCJinSD

    I recall the introduction of the C4 Corvette, and also when I last saw a nice one at a pre-steeple-chase party in a rich older guy’s garage circa the year 2000. Believe it or not, as savaged as the C3 was by the press for a decade before its demise, the Stingray was usually one of the fastest cars on the US market right up until the end. I went to an autocross in 1993 where the E30 M3 my friend brought me in was fastest car on street tires, but the two faster cars were a trailered Miata with an open exhaust on slicks and a C3 built late enough to have a bubble back window that bellowed through side pipes and went two seconds faster than the Miata on a tight track with a lap time of less than a minute. It looked like something out of The Road Warrior, and it wouldn’t be denied by anything Porsche had come up with in the decades since it was introduced as a facelift of a car from 1963.

    The C3 was ridiculous because it was less comfortable and attractive than the car it was based on. It also stuck around for fifteen years, after its beautiful predecessor was built for a third as long. On the other hand, GM didn’t neglect it because there wasn’t a market for it. They neglected it because they already were selling all they could build. Car and Driver loved to bash and dismiss it. They also liked to pretend that it didn’t matter that it was seconds faster around a track than anything from the car companies they foamed over, all while selling at capacity.

    • Avatararbuckle

      Yea, the masses like to sh*t on the later C3, and I’m not going to claim they were amazing or anything like that, but look at this comparison from ’79:


      The Corvette is quickest to 100 by over 10 seconds, traps 11 mph higher than anything, and had the best lap time by 6 seconds.
      Even the ’81 version, probably the biggest POS to ever wear a Corvette badge, could hold its own against the pricey machines of its day:


      • AvatarRock36

        Well the masses always seem to be surprised when any Corvette performs as well as it does. I remember seeing articles about the C6 that read the same as the C7 reviews and comparisons that came 10 years later.

        Hell you can go back almost to the beginning. Motor Trend put a C1 Corvette against a Porsche 356A convertible, before the 911 even existed. I’m not one to magazine race, but the results were heavily skewed in the corvettes favor.

  4. AvatarCGHill

    At 6’0″ with a ridiculous 28-inch inseam, I find my own automotive choices somewhat limited. It would never occur to me, though, to sue Sergio Marchionne for failing to upsize a Fiat 500 for me.

    • AvatarJoe

      At 5’4” with a 28 and a half inch inseam, I find the trend in tall motorcycles a joke, effectively relegated to buying a Harley because every one builds tall motorcycles, victim, Hell no, make the best with what you have!

  5. AvatarZaskarx

    I recently found myself debating the similarly contentious subject of allowing electric mountain bikes access to our local trails – trails where motorized vehicles are otherwise prohibited. Proponents contend that banning “e-bikes” amounts to discrimination against those who are too old/fat/unfit to ride the trails on human powered bikes. Victim mentality has seeped into every debate; it is an unstopable, seductive force that allows people to completely disassociate themselves from anything resembling personal responsibility.

    • Avatarsabotenfighter

      Man, fuck eBikes. I can get behind pedal assist for the infirm/old and for 80lb steel tank “mamachari”, but these fools with eMTB with throttles doing “sick burnouts” on trails and stuff need to point their moped to the nearest cliff.

    • AvatarHarry

      I am tired of having ebikes shoved at me as the future of the cycling industry. Ebikes are motor vehicles. I have ridden them, they are awful bikes, and not good scooters either. This goes double to emountain bikes. They are unrideable without the assist. They are terrible electric powered dirt bikes.

      It is nice to keep things simple. Human powered? OK on human powered trails. Got a motor? Subject to the same restrictions as internal combustion. Rascal scooter? I dunno.

      I sell bikes to a lot of out of shape (fat) people. There are a lot of choices available to accommodate any size and weight, all the way up to recumbent trikes.

      Here is an article that sums up ebikes fairly well. The gist is that Schwinn started making bikes, switched to racing motorcycles, killed people, and went back to making bikes.


      • AvatarDr Ribs Revere

        Thank you for the link! I had not seen/read this article previously. Have been considering how the electric revolution in motorcycles will come about and my biggest hang-ups came down to regulation and use case. Which led me to thinking that the winners in electrification of the motorcycle industry will follow a similar path as did in the early 1900s: Bicycles + Power > *Whatever the future determines…*

        • AvatarJim

          @Harry – Thank you for the link! I learned a lot.

          I have noticed a strange phenomenon on my local “mixed used” greenway. For reasons that I can’t understand, people have started to ride a lot of FAT Ebikes on the trail right at their 20 MPH limit. Instead of enjoying the sound of nature, you hear the roar of their 4″ tires approaching and then passing you. Most of these things are ridden by guys in their 20s.

          I own several noisy and polluting ICE machines, and I am as guilty as anyone else in turning this country into a strip mall hellhole. However, at some point don’t we need to leave some places off the grid?

    • AvatarAoLetsGo

      There is a new MTB trail system not far from me that have very expensive, engineered flow trails. They are a joy to ride and a nice break from all the pounding an old body takes on other trails. One of the primary goals of these trails is to encourage families with young children to enjoy this sport. Of course you do get some hot heads who show up with cross bikes and just fly around the course, I can only hope they are respectful of “lessor” riders.
      They also have a big sign at the trail head that says NO EBIKES I hope they can maintain that policy.

  6. Avatarsabotenfighter

    The fact that the ride in question was called “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey” made me LOL.
    I was probably 14 or 15 when I first heard about the Harry Potter books, and even then I thought I was too damn old for that crap. The fact that this woman didn’t get into them till she was 35 really exemplifies the sad state of the reading ability of the modern adult.
    Don’t get me wrong, I like a little YA Fiction escapist fantasy, such as the Quartermain series, but I read King Solomon’s Mines when I was 10. I’m not one of these fools out waiting in line for the newest Hunger Games or whatever.

  7. Avatararbuckle

    As was alluded to, Universal already modified some of the seating on the Hogwarts ride several years ago. Right now, the far right of each seating cluster can accommodate larger people while the other seats in the cluster weren’t changed.

    Here’s a picture of a relatively portly fellow giving a thumbs up in the new test seat:

    So for the author to be too large to fit on the current ride, she would need to be quite girthy.

    • Avatareverybodyhatesscott

      So for the author to be too large to fit on the current ride, she would need to be quite girthy.

      A brief google search would suggest she’s not a couple pounds overweight but morbidly obese.

    • AvatarS2k Chris

      Maybe it’s my inner fatass, but that dude doesn’t look that big.

      As a “larger American” (not huge, I don’t need an airplane seatbelt extender or anything) I’ve never felt anything other than my own personal shame when something is a little too snug, it’s a reminder that maybe I should put down the cake and pizza. It’s never occurred to me that it’s anyones fault but my own. The fact that there’s no shame in being this type of “victim” has got to be a large part of what’s wrong with America.

  8. AvatarRyan C

    Regarding your experience with the Mazda Splenda, I think you understand but underemphasize the key appeal: eye height.

    My parents just bought a 2-row CUV (CR-V), and their spec was very simple: comfy car, high seating position.

    Some years ago, my mother was the victim of a hit-and-run sideswipe. After that she was done with low cars.

    You rightly identify that the preponderance of CUVs and SUVs and other tall vehicles means that these vehicles are no longer “tall,” they’re just normal height now, creating even more incentive to avoid sedans, which seem low today.

    Given that you mention that the Pilot and Accord are built on the same chassis, I’d love a detailed analysis (maybe already done, link?) of what the dimensional trade-offs are between the two types of vehicles. How much taller is a Pilot, how much interior space does it give up, and so forth?

    • AvatarEric H

      Today’s sedans seem low?
      I drive a 240sx that’s been lowered about 1″ from stock ride height.
      At work I’ve parked next to a current gen Corolla. The roof of the 240sx is the same height as the bottom of the windows on the Corolla.
      EVERYTHING is tall now. It’s incredibly stupid to add so much frontal area on an econobox.

  9. AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

    No sympathy from here. That woman(?) needs to stop stuffing pizza into her maw and drag her corpulent carcass outta that chair. Look, I’m short for my weight at the moment, 5′ 10″ @ 225 (been as high as 240), 38″ waist and it’s my fault. With knees that don’t work as well as they once did, I can be lazy in my off time. Here on my 61st trip around the sun, I’ve slowed up a fair bit compared to 20, hell even 10, years ago.And guess what, it’s up to me to deal with I understand that as you age your metabolism slows down. So instead of inhaling that whole large pizza you maybe did at age 20, now a couple slices will do. Same with that 12 pack of beer. Just because you open it up, doesn’t mean you need to drink all of them. And maybe consider switching to a light beer.

    If you want a good test of your girth, get a seat in economy class on any plane. If you have trouble wedging your ass into a seat, you’re fat. I’m surprised there isn’t more air rage these days. You’re stuffed into a flying bus, breathing other peoples farts for a couple hours, and now you have some “person of size” taking up a chunk of the seat you paid for.

    • Avatareverybodyhatesscott

      If you want a good test of your girth, get a seat in economy class on any plane. If you have trouble wedging your ass into a seat, you’re fat.

      While I don’t disagree with the overall idea and it’s frustrating to have people flow over into your seat, having shoulders that are wider than an economy seat no regardless of current fitness level isn’t any fun.

      • AvatarEric H

        “having shoulders that are wider than an economy seat no regardless of current fitness level”

        This is my problem.
        Back when I graduated high school I was 5′-8″ 170lbs. I had no fat, rode my bike everywhere, and could run a mile in about 4:30 without any problem. I was (and still am) a bulky dude.
        Now I’m 5′-10″ and fat. I’m working on the fat part but it takes tremendous discipline to 25% of your mass.

      • AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

        I’m pretty familiar with that problem as my shoulders are about 21″ across. I can no more change that, than I can change my short stumpy legs (28″ inseam). My solution has always been a window seat and partially turning so I’m not in your “space”. No matter what they do, someone with a 2 axe handles wide ass is going to be using part of my seat.

        • Avatareverybodyhatesscott

          My solution has always been a window seat and partially turning so I’m not in your “space”.

          Usually, I do the same thing. Makes for an uncomfortable flight. Once in a blue moon I don’t check into my southwest flight early enough and I end up in a middle seat.

          • AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

            “Makes for an uncomfortable flight.”

            Yes it does. I normally use Southwest myself, A list+ so I’m usually the first on after the wheelchairs. I flew non stop ATL to LAX that way once and it sucked. I usually try to get row 5 on the left side, due to where the window is (right at my shoulder so about 3 more inches of room). Saturday I got lucky on my flight home Saturday; 5″ nothing little old lady that maybe topped out at 90 lbs. I was so happy I offered her my snacks and even got her a glass of wine( as Ron White made famous, “I got coo-puns”)

  10. Avatartyates

    Jack / Mark – enjoyed all of your articles this week as always. The trackday article is great advice and your writing about the “Splenda” crossover was both practical & inspired – let the guessing games begin.

    One has to wonder though – is there any hope that we’re at “peak crossover”? Aren’t bubbles supposed to end shortly after something outrageous happens, like Ferrari building a SUV and Ford axing almost its entire car line? Or do we have to wait for the Shelby Cobra Crossover Adventure Time Series Princess Bubblegum Special Edition for all of this to end?

  11. AvatarWulfar

    I picked up a 1995 C4 convertible here recently: Dark Purple metallic, white top, 6 speed, one owner with 60,000 miles. Actually belonged to a friend’s mother who specially ordered it. It was her “last” Corvette as she had been through a succession of used and new ones since 1962 but currently rocks a Toyota CUV. I didn’t need the damn thing but having known the car since new I didn’t have the heart to see it disappear. Handles like a go-cart, feels slow compared to the Hellcat but I’m not sure there’s much more American than dropping the top and hitting the road in a convertible ‘Vette. Did I mention it’s purple 😉

    I law’s enjoy thew writing Jack – thank you.

  12. Avatarhank chinaski

    “Jana Schmieding is a comedic writer, performer and educator in Los Angeles. She is the creator of the weekly podcast and accompanying live show, “Woman of Size,” where brilliant women discuss their bodies. ”

    Somewhere, Mike Rowe is laughing.

  13. AvatarKen

    Eh, I dunno about “fat friendly” seating really contributing to the kiddo pinball effect. I can recall 25 years ago at age 10 bouncing around in rides that were both new and old.

    That clicky harness is way safer than the lap bar, especially when riding next to an adult. If it wasn’t for dad’s quick reflexes, I would have fell out of the old wood Cyclone at Riverside.

  14. AvatarJ Edwards

    I feel like this is all the result of kids raised by parents who never said “no.” For those of us her heard that word more often than not, I feel we lack that sense of universal entitlement that compels these people to believe that the world owes them something. We don’t hear “sizeist” complaints from these people when the rides at amusement parks have a height requirement for children, they simply accept that it’s a safety concern and move on. However, when it is they who are inconvenienced for the exact same reason, it’s discriminatory.

    People have choices, and they all need to understand that there are consequences to the decisions that they make. When you choose to smoke, you also choose to smell like smoke, not be able to run up stairs, and shorten your lifespan. When you wear rainbow colored shirts, you choose to make others think you are gay. When you decide to “indulge” nightly on an entire meat lovers pizza, your actions therefore imply tacit understanding that you will get fatter, your clothes will not fit properly, and you will be looked down upon by society. Accept the consequences, all of them.

    Also, I think Jack secretly appreciates his uncommon proportions because it increases his “need” for bespoke clothing.

    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      To the contrary, sir, I fit the same Brioni ready-to-wear template as the actor Marion Morrison.

  15. AvatarXJR01

    And here I thought “the talk” when driving other people’s racecars involved the discussion about the number of zeroes on the cheque being written, and the extent of damage liability…

  16. AvatarComfortablyNumb

    Let them have it. Let the chronic victims have Disney World, Broadway, the news, the movies, the stadiums. If it keeps them away from the parks, the fishing docks, the hiking trails, the racetracks, etc, let them have it.

  17. AvatarJames

    The personal luxury coupe worked because of the federal speed limit. They handled just fine at 55.

    CUVs survive because speed limits in the US, although higher than 55 now, are low enough that the difference in handling between a CUV and a sedan is not apparent unless you break the speed limit.

    • AvatarComfortablyNumb

      Or maybe acknowledge that cheeseburgers > intimacy, accept the tradeoffs that go along with that, and enjoy your life. It’s not a good way to get on Buzzfeed, but at least you’d be happy.

    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      “Because I am a grown-ass woman with realistic ideas about love, ”

      Who obsesses over Harry Potter. One of these things is not like the other.

      Her ass is grown, that’s for sure.

      • AvatarJ Edwards

        If her ideals about love were so realistic, she would know: guys who want to fuck skinny girls > guys who want to fuck fat girls. Math is far more “realistic” than the ideas she has conjured to make herself feel better.

        • AvatarDirty Dingus McGee

          Fat girls are good to have around. Why? Shade in the summer, warmth in the winter. Bonus if she has tat’s, ’cause then you get moving pictures too.*

          (yes, I’m going to hell.)

          *not a “chubby chaser”

  18. Thomas KreutzerThomas Kreutzer

    I had this exact same thing happen to me at Tokyo Disney Sea last fall. I was pulled out of the roller coaster line, taken to a private place and forced to sit in a tiny little chair while they tried to close the restraint thing on me. My broad shoulders and massive chest didn’t allow it to get even to the first click. There was no way I was going on that ride.

    It was wonderful! While my son stood in line for 90 minutes to enjoy a 35 second ride, I relaxed on a bench in the shade. 10/10 would ride again.

  19. AvatarDaniel J

    I wasn’t overweight at the time, but I couldn’t ride a ride a Busch gardens 20 years ago. I have a large barrel chest(54 to be exact) and the over the chest/ shoulder restraint wouldn’t fit. For me, I understood and it was no big deal.

    These sorts of exclusionary issues I don’t have much issue with. But I will say that I’ve personally been discriminated for my size and weight in the workplace and in job interviews. While working at Hooters and Hooters is allowed to be selective, my weight or size has zero impact on my abilities as a Computer Engineer.

  20. AvatarDaniel J

    As a counter point, I’ve never heard in my 37 years that amusement rides were designed soley for children. In fact, many have minimum ride requirements which implies, to some degree, an age requirement. Any source as to the historical relevance of these rides designed for children?

    Your complaint about the ride for your son is just as valid as hers. Simply put, you can’t make everyone happy, and I’m not convinced that your assertion that these rides are for kids is entirely valid.

    • Jack BaruthJack Baruth Post author

      Solely for children? No.

      Primarily for children? Of course. Go to any amusement park and calculate the median age. It’s probably under eighteen. Twenty years ago, it was probably under fifteen. Adults are expected to gratify themselves through adult activities. Which is not to say that I don’t like roller coasters or that I haven’t had plenty of adult-age dates at amusement parks. But those are childish pursuits, just like watching cartoons or eating candy until you feel sick. A great many problems with modern society can be directly correlated with our modern habit of encouraging adults to engage in childish behavior.

      Putting this another way: If society has to choose between entertaining innocent children and gratifying 35-year-old women who play with toys and do “body size awareness,” which should we choose? If the Titanic is sinking, do you throw the 9-year-old child into the lifeboat or do you rig up a rope-and-pulley arrangement to hoist this person over the side?

      • Avatarsilentsod

        I had been wondering if the fact that an unusual number of my cohort goes to Disneyland and the like by themselves and takes pictures with the character actors and the like would be touched upon or if it was too far off the mark of the topic at hand. I find it unnerving and worry that my generation will end up with too many of us in arrested development.

        Guess it wasn’t too far.

        • Avatarsabotenfighter

          Here I thought that was just an Asian/Japanese woman kind of thing. I have college acquaintances that probably spend a few thousand bucks a year going to Tokyo Disney, buying all the stupid crap (clip on Aristocats cat ears were pretty popular for a while, even though nobody seems to know the Aristocats here…) and getting loads of pics with the characters. They even made a new character just for Japan. Duffy the Bear isn’t in any movies or anything as far as I know, just designed for its cuteness and to extract money from 16-45 year old women.
          I saw some celebrity getting married at Disneyland one night on TV. I posted on FB that if I was going to get married to a girl and she suggested that she wanted a Disney wedding, I would dump her in a heartbeat and never look back. Got some pretty upset responses to that, haha.
          But seriously, a wedding package for 50 people at Disneyland is 7,700,000 JPY (Around $70,000)! That’s just to start. Not only that, but all your pictures are gonna have Micky-Fucking-Mouse in them.

          • Avatarsilentsod

            Someone I went to high school with had their wedding at Disney(land/world). Boggles the mind.

          • AvatarRonnie Schreiber

            If I ever get married again, I’d like to hold the ceremony and reception at the Auburn Cord Duesenberg Museum in Auburn, Indiana. Art-deco masterpiece that used to be the ACD headquarters.

          • AvatarBark M

            Duffy isn’t exclusive to Japan, it’s all over Epcot. I think my daughter has the girl version of Duffy in stuffed animal form.

          • Avatarsabotenfighter

            Bark, I was unaware of this. I figured it was some made up thing here to supplant slipping sales and attract park-goers as the Character popped up right at the same time they raised the passport price significantly. Also, I hadn’t heard anyone talking about the character in the US.

          • Avatarsabotenfighter

            That would be pretty cool. My little brother got married in a place called the Fox Theater in Spokane. Fully restored, old art-deco theater. Pretty cool place to have any event, not just a wedding.

      • AvatarJim

        With 2/3 of the North American population overweight or obese, the question is moot. Enough HFCS and these nuanced issues of choosing between actual children and adult children just won’t matter.

      • AvatarDaniel J

        I have no idea what the median age of an amusement park is. I went to six flags a handful of years ago, and most of the patrons were well into their twenties and thirties. Many thrill seekers it seems. Obviously six flags caters to a different crowd than say, Disney.

        From an idealogical point if view, I agree that amusement parks should be for children and teens. From my own libertarian point of view, the market should dictate who amusement parks are designed and catered for. The obvious problem with that view is that in this day and age, the market is fickle and can be swayed simply by an unhappy blogger with a million clicks. Hopefully their are enough parents such as yourself to keep the market honest.

  21. AvatarHogie roll

    Exclusion and shame are the best motivational techniques.

    I can’t do 3sets x10reps of fork put downs and grow taller lol.

  22. AvatarDirtRoads

    I’m 6’6″ and have bumped my head on thousands of things in my 60 years. Damn those doorways. All buildings must be modified NOW so I no longer bump my head.

    Also, Cessna must modify all its airplanes so I don’t have to crouch or otherwise “make myself small” to get in them or fly them.

    That said, I’ve driven Fiat 124s, 128s, 131s and even (barely) X1/9s without problems. Well OK the last one was a problem, like a 911 where I have to lift my leg to shift into 1st and reverse.


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