No, You Shouldn’t Be Okay With A Mediocre Life

If one more, well, mediocre person I know shares the January blog post, “What If All I Want Is A Mediocre Life?” I’m gonna choke the mediocre life right out of him/her. As with most Facebook shares, I’m guessing that at least fifty people didn’t even read the post, but simply saw the title as an excuse for their own lamentable mediocrity and clicked “Share” without a moment’s hesitation. “Yes! I’m a MOM and a TEACHER and I’m PROUD OF IT!” Well, okay, then. Your biggest accomplishments are a biological act and having a career that is typically chosen by the stupidest college students. Congrats, you’re even less than mediocre!

The first thing that you should know about this blog post was that it was written by Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Dagui (I can’t begin to understand how that name was generated), who is a Certified Holistic Nutritional Consultant™ & Joyful Living Educator. This is Not a Real Fucking Job. And the trademark is the author’s, not mine.

But let’s get past the ad hominem attacks and get to the meat of the post, shall we? Yeah, let’s.

Continue Reading →

Okay, So We Didn’t Podcast, But We Did Make Videos!

The New York International Auto Show is a funny thing. You can run into the same people twenty times in a day, and also go the entire show without running into a friend at all (Hi, Alex!). I attended about half a dozen parties, saw a few presentations on the show floor, and walked about 20,000 steps per day. However, what I did NOT do was see my dear brother very much. So the much ballyhooed second edition of the Barkcast didn’t happen.

But I did make a few videos with my friends, the Boost Brothers. Above is the first of them, which briefly discusses the Dodge Hellcat and Demon but does not show my awesome blue Allen Edmonds Neumoks that I was wearing for the shoot. Alas. You should watch it anyway. In the days to come, we’ll also have videos about the Acura TLX and NSX, the Honda Civic Type R, the Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk, and the entire Ford Performance lineup. Check it out!

 

The Barkcast is BACK for NYIAS, And YOU Can Steer The Script

He ain't heavy. And that hat says "OG" in the //M logo.

A post shared by Jack Baruth (@jackbaruthofficial) on

That’s right—we’ll be Barkcasting LIVE from the crown jewel of the Kimpton hotel chain, Ink48, next week. Featured guests to include the Boost Brothers, otherwise known as Bozi and Bojan Tatarevic, the legendary Danger Girl, and maybe even another guest or two to be named later (hint: one of them likes to wear scarves and the other one… also likes to wear scarves, but is a girl).

What are we gonna talk about? Well, that’s up to you!

Continue Reading →

Ask Bark: How To Replace A Long-Term Love

That’s right, bitches (I only call you bitches because I don’t know your names individually), Ask Bark is BACK! I have a gazillion emails sitting in my box, and I have this nifty website that I can use to answer them, so why not? Plus, since this site is not designed to generate anything resembling “clicks,” I can ramble on and on about whatever I want, and I’m not obligated to pick something “interesting.” Also, here’s a cool picture of a Bronco. Yay!

Let’s kick this off with a letter from an actual female reader who’s looking to replace her tired ‘Lude.

Jenica writes:

Hello!

I’m attempting to look for a reliable car within my preferred ($8000 or less) budget, that’s a little sporty. I’m about ready to break up with my faithful partner of about 10 years, at over 200k miles, a ’98 honda prelude. A manual is a must, and a coupe is quintessential. Of course within my budget, the only cars I like (ie: have style) with less than 100k miles on it come with a sad salvage title. I’m having some trouble weeding out the ones that will last as long as my current partner without numerous major bills. And as much as I would love to own an s2000, I do need something with some semblance of a back seat. I live north of Sacramento, Ca in the Chico area.

Looking forward to your reply,

-Jenica

First of all, congrats on having a cool, unique name. Also, congrats on being a woman who drives a manual transmission and would love an S2000. Now, let’s get to the answer—it’s not as simple as either of us would like.

Continue Reading →

The Media Will Show You All The Pictures You Need To Have An Opinion

Oh, that crazy Donald Trump. He’s at it again with more racist policies. This time, he’s signing an executive order to double the minimum salary for H-1B workers to $130,000, making it impossible for those poor Indians to come over to America and take all the tech jobs.

Facebook is enraged. Every public post on the subject has said that Trump is a moron/racist/sexist/idiot.Well, he might be all of those things, or none of them. But one thing he certainly is not is a Democratic Congresswoman from California named Zoe Lofgren.

Continue Reading →

Nothing Says White Privilege Like A Good Protest

These are interesting, unprecedented times, to be sure. After all, who could have guessed that someday we’d have a president who would put a temporary travel ban on Middle Easterners? Well, I mean other than that time that Obama did it. This president specifically put a ban on seven Muslim countries—unthinkable. Hold on, I forgot about that time that Obama identified those same countries when he removed them from the Visa Waiver Program. But this president wants to indiscriminately prevent all people from an hispanic country from coming here. What? Obama did that, too? Damn. At least he didn’t strand and detain people at the airport…oh, FFS, let’s just move on.

No, the real story here is the sheer volume of protests. I mean, for real. Dude’s been president for, like, a week, and I’m guessing that some people have just been bouncing from protest to protest. And there’s been something interesting about the protests, something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on until today.

“I have learned something this morning,” my friend wrote to me via Facebook Messenger early today. “White people love to protest.”

Continue Reading →

That Moment When You Realize That You’re Fine With Being A Soccer Dad

In recent days, there’s been much discussion among my fans/haters (who are really just fans under a different name) comparing my dear brother and me. Frankly, this is a stupid comparison, and it wouldn’t exist if we didn’t share both a name and a blog. We have had remarkably different lives, separated by six years, eight grades in school (Jack skipped two grades, and when the school wanted to do the same with me, my parents declined, with my father saying that advancing Jack was the “greatest mistake of his life”), and nearly completely different interests.

In fact, there are only four things in which we’ve ever shared an interest.

Continue Reading →

I Have An Obligation To You

Let me start by saying this: To anybody who’s ever read a single word I’ve written, thank you. Even if you think I’m an idiot, a fool, and “a mere shadow of my brother,” I’ll still say thank you. Over the last five years, I’ve written nearly half a million words that have found their way into publication, and if weren’t for the people who both love and hate what I have to say, none of that would have been possible.

As such, I have an obligation to you. But it might not be what you think it is.

Continue Reading →