Today was the day that I’d planned to blog all about my new turntable and how awesome it is. This would have formed a sort of “Sprawl Trilogy” with the previous two blog entries of the week so far, which were also about consumer products. Luckily for all of you, however, this deep dive into getting and spending has been temporarily derailed by some gum-chewing woman in a Solara.
The circumstances of my current short-term employment contract require that I drive downtown every day in order to remotely administer a couple hundred systems that are located in a data center near my house. I appear to be the only person in the department who thinks this is completely idiotic. Every day I drive thirty-four miles for no reason whatsoever. Over the course of a year — not that I’ll be in this job a year — I will drive 8,840 miles, burning about 341 gallons of gasoline. I spend a lot of my time in this office “dialed in” to conference calls that are happening elsewhere.
Not only does this commute cost me about five thousand dollars a year in vehicle-related expenses, it also eats fifty minutes of my life each way. Nearly 450 hours, or nineteen days straight. Put it this way: When people ask me what I do, I tell them that I’m a writer. I rarely spend a full two hours of my day writing. So it would be more accurate to say “I’m a guy who drives downtown every day. That’s what I do.” When I’m feeling down about this, I remind myself that until August of this year I’d only spent five days in an office.
So there I was, driving to work this morning. I was listening to Johnny Hartman’s mis-named For Trane and paying only mild attention to the road ahead. That did not stop me from noticing that traffic was coming to a dead stop ahead of me. Normally in Ohio this is because something that is completely fascinating to hicks is happening, like a car in the ditch or the issuance of a speeding citation on the shoulder or the sudden appearance of light rain.
Regardless of the reason, it was time to stop my car, which I did, having plenty of time and space in which to do so. Then I did something that became a habit of mine when I started riding a Kawasaki Ninja 600R back in ’94: I looked behind me to see how the person behind me was dealing with this sudden stop. Doing that saved my life (or at least my ass) probably five times in just 25,000 or so total motorcycling miles. It’s a habit that has stood me in good stead as a club racer; when braking in traffic you “iguana eye” the mirror and the windshield, looking for a chance to pass while simultaneously defending against a move from a car behind you. It’s a good habit, I think.
Behind me was a Camry Solara. Young woman with sunglasses. Over the course of about a second and a half I thought:
Not that cute.
Chewing gum.
Not paying attention.
Finally starting to slow down.
But not fast enough.
Oh no — her grille and bumper have crash damage. She’s a serial ass-rammer.
Time to move.
Which I did, popping the Accord’s clutch and slipping out onto the shoulder about half a second before she came to a stop with her front bumper right where my driver’s seat had been. She started honking and screaming. It took me a moment to register the presence of a monstrous new 4Runner next to her on the shoulder, abuot five feet behind me, with an Indian or Pakistani man clutching the wheel and shivering. She was screaming at him.
All at once the situation became clear. She’d spaced out on the traffic ahead. I never heard her tires squeal which meant that, like most people, she’d underbraked her way into the space which I’d been occupying. The Indian guy in the 4Runner had spaced even harder and had swerved to avoid hitting her.
A brief note on that: If you can swerve to a stop behind someone, Keith Code’s Dollar Theory Of Tire Traction says you had the ability to just stop behind that person in less space without the swerve. Both of these people had vastly underbraked. The girl in the Solara had clearly done it before — thus the crash damage — but it was also possible, given the age and condition of the vehicle, that her brakes simply hadn’t shown up for work. The guy in the 4Runner had no such excuse. They were both idiots, but he was the bigger idiot.
Normally this sort of thing makes me angry but this time I couldn’t help but smile. Had I not moved my car, we’d have had at least a three-car crash, with the poor gum-chewing woman being Eiffel Towered by an Accord and a 4Runner. There’s no way my car would have been totaled, so I’d have had the annoyance of riding herd on a body shop for a couple month while I drove a worn-out Corolla rental. From the un-repaired damage on her grille and bumper I’m guessing Solara Girl was without collision coverage, meaning she’d have been out of luck for wheels. And the poor guy in the 4Runner would have his brand-new truck ruined.
Now when I go out to my car this afternoon to drive home, I’m sure that I’ll find out that one of my tires is flat from hitting debris on the shoulder or something like that. No good deed goes unpunished. That’s okay. Sometimes you make an accommodation to help someone else out and it winds up costing you. When enough people are willing to do that, however, you have more than just individuals making decisions; you have what was once considered to be a society.
Unfortunately that girl sounds a lot like my oldest daughter… has rear-ended 3 people in 5 yrs, almost exact same scenarios every time. We have not gotten through to her yet on her lack of braking skill, following distances, attention to the road, and speed. Been to 2 safe driving car control clinics too, which she excels at, so I know she can do it. It is immensely frustrating.
But your quick move to the shoulder reminded me of an incident on Friday. I had literally just picked up my new 2015 Mustang GT (shameless bragging, yes) and was about a mile from the dealership heading home, with my wife following along not too far behind. Traffic was heavy, and I am being extremely careful. At around 40mph, the hooptie full of teens in front of me slammed on the brakes hard enough that the ass end went up a foot (worn suspension I assume, clearly they didn’t see the traffic in front of them stopped until too late). As I braked for them I checked my rearview mirror to see another carload of teens in a slammed Jetta racing to get around my wife and coming right up on my brand new car’s bumper. So I did what you did, clutch dropped and slipped to the shoulder as they ended up right where my car was. No one hit anyone. I got stuck waiting for traffic to clear to get back out, and my wife, oblivious to the entire incident, is calling me asking me what is wrong, why am I on the shoulder and can’t I drive that car right??
Ha!
Congrats on the new Mustang. How’d you spec it out?
Yeah those Saudis might be on to somthing lol.
Also Jack, can’t help but disagree with your assessment of the “dollar’s worth of traction” argument, although it depends how early you start your swerve. You only need to turn ~6% of your car’s speed, either right or left, to avoid hitting a car (6 feet wide let’s say) 100 feet ahead. In comparison you’d have to bleed off 100% of the speed in those 100 feet through the tires to come to a stop behind them.
Turn meaning accelerate perpendicular to your direction of travel and bleed off meaning decelerate, or accelerate opposite your direction of travel.
The one and only time I’ve been rear-ended, I was surrounded by traffic and a guard rail on the left side. So I just held the brake, hoping not to be shoved into the car ahead of me, and pressed my back and head (to avoid whiplash) into the seat to await impact. It’s a helpless feeling, just waiting for the crash when you don’t have an out. Luckily, the elderly man braked hard, but not soon enough and the nose of his Hyundai crashed under the bumper of my Ford Ranger. I was able to drive away unhurt, his car had to be towed, and he got an ambulance ride.
Glad you and the car are ok.
You going to Keith Codes school for your upcoming race?
Not sure where I’m going to go yet… I injured my hand in the Watkins Glen crash so I’m waiting to see how that heals before I make any plans.
Same thing happened to me on the way home from work around midnight on a rainy night about two weeks ago. I dove into the right lane ( thankfully empty). The guy in front of me was hit by the woman behind me. No damage to flesh but some crumpled metal. I drove home, shaken but not stirred. . .and thankful to my heavenly Father and to the earthly father who taught me to drive defensively.
instead of mandating back-up cameras, NHTSA should phase in a mandate of forward cameras and colonic display implants given how many people drive around with their heads up their asses.
My wife has a terrible habit of following too close, waiting for the last second to brake, and braking hard. The result has been lots of brake pad replacements and a Ford Focus that has accident damage on just about every body panel on the front and rear of the car from at least five (I’ve lost exact count) separate accidents. She hasn’t had one in 4 years now, but mostly because except for very rare occasions we carpool to work.
Ouch ! this sucks .
I assume my turn is coming up sooner than later…..
-Nate
315 South, just south of 161 about 730 or so this morning? I think I might have been nearby, en route to Kentucky for the day with the kids.
Jack, you’ve more than filled your 2014 car accident quota. Glad you had such a quick reaction.
My DTS came equipped with something Cadillac called Brake Assist.
It’s programmed to give you more boost when it senses a panic stop.
As a shamefully myopic driver, driven to never be late, I can certainly recall one time when it kicked in on the highway. The effort in the pedal lessened and it almost sunk to the floor. But I stopped well and clean. Had it not engaged I would have rear ended the car ahead of me that came to a complete stop in the left lane of an eight lane highway.
Check the mirrors and look for an open spot is my standard procedure when braking hard in traffic.
Almost got killed twice by large semis doing this when I was a teenager. I had to swerve into the opposite lane since there was no shoulder once, and drive into a grass median the second time to avoid getting crushed.
Swerving out of your lane? Just leave enough room in front to give you the space you need for inattentive ass sniffers. You can’t always have the option of moving into and empty space even if you are on the outside lane. And if you have an ass sniffer or someone on the phone not paying attention and always creeping up on your bumper … brake check the moron and wake them up. I’m sorry, but I have no sympathy for anyone who doesn’t make safe driving their top priority when behind the wheel in traffic.
All that said, I recently headed North on I5 to Portland in my dad’s 300. I passed a pretty young girl getting on the freeway in a seriously clapped out old Ford Courier with a bungee holding the drivers door shut, she looked distracted and agitated, but she sure was a cutie with her long blond hair blowing out the missing back window.
About ten miles up the road I noticed traffic coming to a stop, I slowed well ahead of time coming to a stop about 40 ft behind the next car and checked my mirror. I was sitting there for a few minutes still scanning my rear view mirror, when I saw the Courier coming, still at full speed. I tapped my brakes three times to get her attention, but she kept coming. I determined she would need all the space I was occupying and the 40 ft ahead to stop, so I quickly accelerated ahead and moved to the shoulder as she went through the space I
had just occupied and all but about 3 ft. of the space ahead with her brakes locked up making quite a smoky scene. Luckily the old Courier went fairly straight only going a bit sideways at the end of her long skid. The car in front of her couldn’t move as he was tight on the bumper of the next stopped vehicle. Had he absorbed a hit at 50-60mph, it would have been ugly and I may still have been involved collaterally.
So, sometimes leaving a space ahead, doesn’t always give you a safe escape zone unless you can use it to accelerate away and out of that lane space.
What is it with you and the Japanese captive pickups, man?
Rolling around in a LUV, looking at a blonde in a Courier.
When’s the Dodge Ram 50 going to make an appearance?
the northwest US is.. special.
Reg;””What is it with you and the Japanese captive pickups, man?”
How about , fun to drive, good MPG, easy to load, maneuverable in back country and urban situations, light weight. The 4-WD LUV handles like a sports car, the best of all the little pickups, Toyota’s were the worst and didn’t handle, or handle heavy loads well.
My recent acquisitions will be fluffed and sold , except for one of the LUV’s. They are just temporary fun. I love the hunt and fussing with them to make them a little better before they move on. Few vehicles become part of my permanent collection. I have a friend who buys nothing but nice Chevy hotrods and Corvettes, I prefer fair to nice original vehicles of just about any make, model.
I liked the looks of the D50. I had my LUV only a few weeks when special edition D50 made a left had turn in front of me leaving two pretty little brand new trucks damaged in the intersection, the D50 had to be towed. After the cops left, I took the owner down to the nearest bar and we had a relaxing drink, then I drove him home.
Bottom line, I’m not a car snob and don’t need to be coddled by a vehicle or need new for my ego, a nice, clean, interesting, and fun vehicle is sufficient. Driving the LUV gives me the same pleasure as driving an old Bug, plus it is handy and gets great MPG . Driving a Tee roadster 700 miles to the Bonneville Salt Flats with no heater or air conditioning, doesn’t bother me either or putting down 6-700 miles a day on a motorcycle.
And who doesn’t look at pretty blondes, no matter what they drive?
Odd questions, Jack.
Tre, I’m not trying to give you a hard time, I just think it’s funny that you’ve mentioned compact captive trucks twice recently, I go entire months without hearing about them. 🙂
Purely coincidental on your site, part of an experience related in a comment.
But, Hey! I got that D-50 in their.
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I’m hoping your ‘ Special ‘ is meant in a good way ~ I like the PNW and visit often .
Going up there again by ground in two weeks .
-Nate
Serial ass rammer!! Lol
Glad you didn’t get smacked
People like that piss me off…..but there’s a lot of idiots in the world, and most of them have licenses. No way around it.
I meant to ask you about how racers keep track of mirrors, blind spots, and looking for passing opportunities all at the same time? So its dubbed the iguana eye technique? 🙂
I thought Keith Code’s Dollar Theory applied to a rider’s attention, not tire traction. I could be wrong- it has been some time since I read his books.
The first “Twist” really is an excellent book, BTW.
It originally applied to the tire, but he later on modified it to be more inclusive.