Today I finally opened up my double vinyl set of Florence Welch’s How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful. I’ve been listening to the digital files since the day of release but I thought I’d give the LP a shot. This relatively long “album” is split across two discs. Disc 1-A is my favorite, as it contains the three best tracks in a row. Disc II-B is my second choice. Interestingly enough, the cover for Disc II has a photo of Ms. Welch floating topless in a lake. This was something I did not know I needed to see until I saw it. I know you’d like to see it as well.
As it turns out, there’s an entire Tumblr devoted to shots of Florence’s breasts, and you can see it here. It does not disappoint. She has a reasonably decent rack for a woman of her height (5’9″) and general configuration (beanpole). But I’m not impartial here; she really does it for me. I’m one of those relatively rare men who will give a woman extra points for being hugely talented — Robert Plant was another, note the way he mooned over the relatively plain Joni Mitchell when hard Los Angeles tens were literally kicking his hotel room door down every night — and I think everything that Ms. Welch does is just flat wonderful. I’m also not afraid of tall women, although Florence’s actual height is much debated and some people think she’s five-seven while others swear she’s five-eleven.
As with the topless-in-the-lake photo, I didn’t know I needed Florence until she appeared. Her uncompressed dramatic and vocal range are just perfect for me. Florence, if you’re reading this, contact me care of Road&Track. That is all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to today’s critical-task: painting Porsche wheels with a rattlecan. We call that “living the dream”, Florence.
Come on, we both know you love the manjaw on her
At least as much a shock to the system as Joni Mitchell’s nude photo in For the Roses.
Honestly, I think Florence’s most striking quality is her lack of range. Loud =\= range, She’s one speed all the time, and as much as I liked Ceremonials (better than HB:HB:HB in my opinion) I just can’t stand getting punched in the face with one rhythm, one volume, and one intonation for two hours.
Best female album of the decade for me is Feist’s Metals. Absolute master class in instrumentation, vocal range, songwriting… She plays with so many themes and ties the whole album together in ways that make it physically impossible to do anything else but listen once you’ve pressed play on track one. Honestly, one of my personal top five records of all time.
My wife is a fan of Florence, and so we have obtained tickets to see her next month at the Hollywood Bowl. We are somewhat close to the front of the house so it should be a good show. We saw Florence + the Machine play a radio station festival show this past spring. Florence was perched atop a stool for the entire set, having broken her foot earlier in the year while jumping off of the stage at Coachella. She and the band were subdued; the arrangements were lighter and quieter than the album versions. She apparently moves around the stage quite a lot normally. I’m hoping that the upcoming show featuring a fully healed Florence will be zestier than what we saw this spring.
Will have to check out the full album/tumblr when I’m not at work.
I’d have to say though, I’m definitely more of a Lana fan when it comes to female vocalists these days. Unfortunately, despite the well publicized daddy issues, there is no website that I know of full of topless Lana del rey photos
Sadly, true… That said, Lana is quickly becoming the most interesting artist in the world. So weird, so great!
Hey Jack, you know she is British ?
The good thing is, British women aren’t the worlds dirtiest white broads, that honour apparently is bestowed on New Zealand women !
Define dirty…
Florence is okay.
My personal favorites for newer female vocalist are:
Cristina Viallonga with Gotan Project
China Forbes with Pink Martini
Florence does have a real nice pair though!
‘Did I drink too much, am I losing touch, did I build this ship to wreck?”
She did it for me on talent alone, though the look just adds to the whole thing.
I guess I’m out of touch as I don’t know who any of those people are. The only recent female artist that has drawn my attention is Aimee Allen, but I strongly suspect neither she nor her style would play well with Jack.
Although I am clearly in the old geezer demographic, I have been blessed with a regular guy 21 year old son, who shares my appreciation for a wide variety of musical types.
As a result, I hear a lot of modern music that most people my age don’t even know exists. And in fact, I often don’t know they exist, except to hear them being played, until I ask my son who a particular band is, or the name of a particular song (as the habit of DJ’s to announce song titles and artists seems to be a hit and miss thing at best these days, unlike the past, where it was de rigeur to announce everything that was plated.)
When I do ask, he flips up one of several apps on his smartphone, and in five or ten seconds, my knowledge base on modern music has been expanded.
That is how I came to know Florence, and the Machine…liked the sound, found out who did it. Ditto for other “modern” and “alternative” music and bands…Saint Motel, “You’re My Type”, a great big band kind of sounding rocker. Matt and Kim “Hey Now”, check the video on youtube or Verve. Even if you don’t like the music, it won’t hurt your ears, and Kim can dance like nobody I’ve ever seen.
That type of music isn’t all that I like or listen to, but it definitely adds to my musical enjoyment.
My son has even won my more conservative wife over to being a fan of Imagine Dragons, after I have failed for a quarter century to be able to find much music that she likes, that she hadn’t already been aware of. Maybe one out of ten tries for me, at best. My son seems to have a streak in him that would make him a good DJ on a radio station with an open playlist.
And while the poetry of the lyrics of Shipwreck! may not approach the level of the poetry of the best of Dylan, for example, there is poetry in it. It is more than just commercial ear candy, which is also true for a great deal of new music that is coming out.
Certainly a lot of it is both more enjoyable and to my thinking, better art, than a lot of the angsty-grungy kind of stuff that crammed the airwaves ten or twenty years ago.
And contrary to popular opinion (in some circles at least) musical innovation did not end at the end of the sixties, either.
Life, and music, go on. Sometimes up, sometimes down, but they go on. And I am grateful for that, and for the fact that I have not lost sight of that fact.
If you haven’t done so already, try listening to some of the new music that is out there. You may have to wade through some duds, but you will also find some new things, done in new veins, that you might like (unless your mind and/or ears are closed.)
Her tunes come up on Sirius periodically, and I listen to them rather than turn the channel.