So, since I was going through my old brochures and stuff today for the Granada ESS post, I ran across more of the humorous “Granada looks like a blank” ads they did back then. Enjoy.
Featuring: Jack B. and Bark M.
Friend of mine had one. So did my grandfather. They were nice cars.
Which was George’s and which was Eve’s?
The “A true Story” ad has always came across to me as anti Semetic. Not in the modern Azov Nazi way, as I am sure the ad agency was Jewish. Instead in the my mother was a Bucket woman sort of way. If they want to think my Ford was a Caddy, let them…
Well, I don’t know exactly what you’re saying there; Mrs. Finkelstein looks like any attractive middle-aged woman dressed in the styles of the mid 1970s, so I don’t know what a “bucket woman” means. If they had run exactly the identical ad with her name as “Elaine Richardson” would you have said it was anti-Semitic?
Well, I don’t know exactly what you’re saying there; Mrs. Finkelstein looks like any attractive middle-aged woman dressed in the styles of the mid 1970s, so I don’t know what a “bucket woman” means. If they had run exactly the identical ad with her name as “Elaine Richardson” would you have said it was anti-Semitic? Was the ad with the Nazarians anti-Armenian in your strange thinking?
Bucket Woman refers to the British show “Keeping up Appearances”. I don’t find how Mrs. F. is presented as positive, Strange for someone giving a product testimonial, no.
Speaking of Ford ads. Years later they had Jackie Stewert selling the Mustang SVO. Wouldn’t it have been hilarious if they had him admit that the rear disc brake system was originated with the super plush, and quick stopping! Grand Monarch. Imagine all the hippys in unison exclaiming to a deity they do not believe in. Hah.
It’s Bouquet!
The sad thing is that Ford had a legitimate Mercedes competitor in Europe called the Ford Granada that had a tight and strong unibody (like a Mercedes), an independent rear suspension (like a Mercedes), V-6 engines that would put Mercedes 4 cylinders to shame for power and smoothness (and South Africa actually shoe-horned a V-8 into them, so Dearborn could have done it), and arguably better and more modern styling than contemporary Mercedes. But like GM did with the Seville, it was cheaper to make a “fancy” Mercedes competitor by dressing up the the bones of a cheap American compact than import a sophisticated European.
In the German fashion though, the base German Granada engine was a 1.7 liter V4 that makes the base American 4.1 inline six seem like a smooth, powerful, refined dream machine.
I expect the Germans paying 3 times the US price for gasoline were willing to put up with a little roughness in order to get more than the 13 mpg the 4.1 US six offered.
It’s a long stairway to heaven, And all that glitters is(not really) gold.
It is better when people like you try to give you what you want. Gone now.
Thankfully Ford and GM finally got wise and brought over the Sierra,Granada and Opel Omega and they were rousing success stories, I remember the lines outside the dealership and down the block, just like when Star Wars came out….some people were buying XR4Ti’s and Cateras and just getting in line again to buy another one, it was that much of a hit…..when the waves of customers FINALLY died down again af Ford and Mercury stores, enough for the poor sales people to catch their breath, Ford launched the Contour and Mystique, only to have lines form around the block again!
Ford brought over the Sierra, but only the expensive high performance version with agricultural turbo 4, and then put it in the Lincoln-Mercury dealer network used to selling Town Cars and Marquis. They also brought over the Scorpio that was styling challenged and a bit underpowered although it at least had a smooth V-6, but again put in a dealer-network that didn’t know who to sell anything except by the pound. The Omega was very long in the tooth when GM brought it over as a Catera after GM Europe had been starved of resources since the 1980s. GM and Ford Europe has some great cars/designs in the 1970s and 80s that were far superior to most of the NA designed vehicles, and a little creative mix and matching of US V8s and brougham options together with the better suspensions, body structures, and build quality of the European models could have been very interesting.
The B series Omega was introduced in 1994 and available as a Catera by summer 1996 as a 1997 MY car, 2.5 years is “VERY long in the tooth” for a Monarch Butterfly perhaps, but for humans, its not that long really. 1997 was the same year its related platform mate Commodore was also introduced down under.
I thought Omega B was simply a refresh of the 1986 Omega A, but Wikipedia say it was “all new” so I guess I was mistaken because Wiki is never wrong.
I bought a Scorpio in 1988 and you were right about the dealers, they had no idea how to sell cars to people that still had all their own teeth. In 1982 I stopped at the same dealer to ask about the new 5.0 Capri and the white-belted plaid sport coat wearing salesman told me they weren’t ordering any because no one would want them since they got poor gas mileage.
Idiot.
My best friend’s mom had a Granada Sport Coupe, black with red. She had the 351 in it. My buddy had a heavy right foot. I was terrified more than once in that car. His dad had a Mercedes 300 SD, a 1980, I think.
The Merc was the nicer place to be, but the Granada was nice as well. I’ll have to see if there are any at Carlisle this June.
It didn’t occur to Ford to wonder why Mr. & Mrs. Nazarian owned a Mercedes and not a Lincoln.
I’m sure they were just waiting for the Versailles to arrive at their local Lincoln dealer.
Well, I’ll be jiggered. I thought the ad about the parking ticket said it was a Mercedes the Granada was mistaken for: and it was a Cadillac!
Another memory shot to hell by reviewing the actual source material!
I was about 10 when this ad campaign came out and I thought it was ridiculous. Motor Trend even did a road test comparison to reinforce the ad campaign.
It did make me wish we had a Mercedes but unfortunately we were stuck slumming in a Marquis Brougham. Fortunately I could somehow swing a 450 SL model kit so at least there was that.
Not gonna lie…..that red Granada coupe with the Magnum 500 wheels is pretty good looking.
Not gonna lie…that red 450SLC with base wheel covers and monster bumpers is an ugly mother.
The SLC was an oddball, the longer wheelbase gave it a dachshund-ish look, and the bumpers don’t help….oof. I wonder what the reasoning was going with this instead of a coupe version of the S-class, like they did again in 1981.
Yeah, it just looked kind of irregular compared to the SL. I don’t hate them, but I’d rather have the roadster.
I think this was supposed to replace the classy hardtop 280SE/SE 3.5s, which was kind of a comedown. A ’71 3.5 coupe is one of my favorite Benzes.
That’s what it replaced, I guess they were aiming more as a smaller sportier 4 seater GT type coupe compared to the predecessor which was more of a large (for Europe) 2 door luxury coupe.
Now I have images in my head of a “what-coulda-been” 70’s S-class hardtop coupe with the 6.9…..
I certainly can’t imagine someone owning a Benz and a Granada/Monarch at the same time! Well, maybe for a year or two, but after that, the rattles, squeaks and interior bits falling apart in the Ford product would get a little old when compared to the other vehicle built to a higher plane of existence!
A vehicle, which now is engineered, unfortunately, to disintegrate completely into an overengineered, unrepairable (unless the owner possesses a bank account equal to the annual GDP of the average third-world country), Rube Goldberg scheiß-show pile of Chineseum parts on the very day after the warranty expires or on the day the vehicle’s second owner drives it off the lot following the return from lease by the first owner, whichever comes first!
Not completely true. As noted in the comments regarding the recent BMW 2002 essay by Patrick, we have several owners of out-of-warranty “modern” BMWs who have not been bankrupted by German overengineering. Yes expensive things can break of “fancy” cars such as MB, BMW, Audi, and even Lexus and Cadillac, but that is only a problem when people who can’t afford “fancy” cars buy them as used and well-depreciated vehicles. You can pick up a well kept 10-15 year old S-Class or 7 series for new Camry money (or less – at least in normal times), but parts and service are going to reflect the fact that they were $100K cars when new and not their greatly depreciated price as used cars. Even so the ownership costs are very likely to be much less than the cost of buying/leasing a new version and being “protected” by the warranty, and in most cases will give you a much better driving experience than the Camry. Furthermore, the Germans are the best in the business in supporting their used vehicles with continued parts supplies, so when something breaks on your 20 year old MB you are much more likely to find a replacement part than you will on your 20 year old Kia or Ford.
Hey Tom
Can’t find a good email for you–I just spent a few days tooling around Northern IL in a triple-black survivor of a 1989 Eldorado. Nothing too special, but a great low-miles driver…
Drop me a line on the topic. Jack can probably get you my email.
Why don’t you do a write up TJG. The 88-91 Eldo is one of my favorites.It was the last one drawn by Wayne Kady who had done the 1968 and I believe the 1971, recapturing a lot of the style without losing the modernity of the 86 luxury platform.
Agreed!
Both the Eldo and Riv were back in their element following that major freshening! IMHO, the Toronado, not as much—they could have gone a little further, removing the concealed headlights and chroming-up the front a little, along with revising the tail into something resembling the ‘79-‘85 rear-end, like the Riv did, and decladding the sides; they could have kept the cladding on the Trofeo, maybe.
To me what was neat about the Eldo style was that it didn’t just add back the bulk as was done to the Riv and the Toro. It is sort of amazing that it didn’t. When GM President F J Mcdonald retired in 1987, he was asked if he had any regrets. He mentioned that the 86 Eldo should have been 10 inches longer. Would almost seem like a decree from the old Kettering guy, who had to cope with what their loyal customers wanted but also was compliant with government edicts. Kady figured out how to get the style back without throwing out all the work done to make it both powerful and efficient. Kady essentially managed to honor the work of Mcdonald without literrally taking his sugestion
To me the Toronado was one of the coolest of the 3 “restyled because we screwed up big time” later E-cars, they did pretty amazing work keeping the wheelbase of the 1986 cars but making the car look way more substantial, plus Oldsmobile kept the sporty flair with the Trofeo option, after Buick dropped the T-type Riviera.
To me the Toronado was the better looking of the 3 1986-1989 E-cars too because it kept the least amount of traditional fogey styling cues that didn’t translate well onto the small-too small E/K cars.
There still was a non Trofeo Toronado available with white walls, wires and a bench seat for the bingo hall cruisers. Though they seem to be way less common than the Trofeo.
The tweaks they made to the Eldorado and Riviera helped, though I only really like the 89 Riviera which still combines the cool tech features of the 1986-1988 Riviera like the GCC and the 16 way seats with the updated styling. You could have still opted slick roof and alloy wheels on this gen Riviera through the end of their run in 1993 but you usually saw them with wires and glop tops.
The Eldorado had the least done to it out of the 3, oddly, it kept the awkward way too boxy dash, the power dome and fender peaks helped some what, but the problem all these cars faced was that a personal luxury car is a “statement” car, it had always been that way for the E-cars since they came out, these cars made no statement, no impression.
Sales of the Eldorado barely increased after the restyle, from nearly dead 17k to 33K, but then back to 21K for the remaining years, it must have been painful for Cadillac management and dealers that were selling 75,000 Eldorados a year as recently as 1985.
They did finally turn this sows ear into a silk purse with the 1992 Eldorado which amazingly uses the same 108in wheelbase as the 1986-1991 cars but does a much better job of making the car look like something substantal expensive car.
In reality the smarter choice in hindsight would have been to make the E/K cars versions of the C-body cars, GM wasted money making coupe versions of the Electra and 98, that virtually no one bought, when it really should have shelved those and made C-body coupes into the Toro/Riviera/Eldo.
I thought the 1988 updates to the Eldorado were retrograde, the bladed fenders and extended taillights just further highlighted the inferiority to the ’79-’85 car. The same is true of the ’87-’88 DeVille; the Eldorado should have gotten the same restyling and lengthening the ’89 DeVille did.
What’s funny is the pre-refresh E-cars actually aren’t small cars. They’re within an inch of Jack’s Accord coupe in every dimension but height. Same is true of the H/C bodies. I actually prefer the ’86 Toro and Riv to the later ones.
Coupes in general were already starting to quickly die off – it’s not like those 75k ’85 Eldorado buyers all switched to the Mark VII or 635CSi. If GM had the styling of these cars out of the park in ’86, I don’t think the end result would have changed much. As big a deal as I remember the ’95 Riviera being when it came out, it sold just as badly as the ’86-’93 after the first year.
Trucky, I had not thought about the size comparison with the last Accord coupe. If we are lucky enough to have TJG/Tom do a write up, when I look at the interior pictures I will be looking in terms of utilizing the same space better, the extra light being brought in by the big window and if we are extra lucky the individual Eldo will reflect the wide color/fabric/ and paint styles to contrast with the greyscale of the Accord. If Tom catalog collection extends to this period, perhaps there is even a shot of the Eldo including one of those fantastic ladies of Broughamville.
To be honest, the 1979-1985 E cars were not my favorite. I get that they were beloved by many, but they left me cold. Of course, I was in my late teens when these cars were released, so that’s a big part of it. It wasn’t in my wheelhouse, so to speak.
By the time the 1986 versions were released, they were substantially cleaned-up and each had their own personality, with the Olds being my favorite. While the early “stubby” cars had their charms, the revised ones in 1989 did look better with the Toronado Trofeo being the real knockout for me. Additionally, I had an extensive tour of the Berkshires in one back in 1989, borrowing a friend’s father’s copy to run a few errands for a family gathering. It sold me on the car, but with kids on the way, it probably would have been a bad choice for a new family.
Jack forwarded your email, so I’ll probably be dropping a line soon about the story and some pics of the Eldo…
As cringey as these ads are, they clearly worked to an extent. Personally, I’d have been too embarrassed to own a car that was marketed like this.
The Granada was the most infamous example, but these kind of comparison ads were a hallmark of Iacocca-era Ford. The ’65 LTD was heavily marketed as “quieter than a Rolls Royce” and the still-big ’77 LTD was compared in size to the downsized Cadillac. Then Lido of course took his shtick to Chrysler, hawking E-Classes with color-keyed wheel covers and running ads touting the Lebaron GTS as a German-beater.
I actually think the Granada was an attractive car (before the facelift, at least), perfectly sized for the times. It might have had a better reputation if Ford hadn’t absolutely screamed the quiet part out loud regarding the styling. Or, you know, if it wasn’t basically a 1960 Falcon underneath and if all the gingerbread was less prone to falling off.
I remember these ads, too. As a big-time Ford fan back then, I thought they were cringe-worthy.