After about the twentieth jump like this, John made a mistake and managed to cut himself up a fair amount. That was yesterday. Today he insisted on going back and doing it some more. How, exactly, am I going to helicopter parent or bubble-wrap this kid, when he has every bit of my instinct for doing stupid things and taking stupid risks? What are the chances I can get him to twenty-one with all of his bones and joints intact?
Maybe I shouldn’t; it’s the bad times that make us who we are.
Chicks.
Dig.
Scars.
“What are the chances I can get him to twenty-one with all of his bones and joints intact?”
If like my youngest, not much if he persists.
Here is my boy’s list(partial?) of injuries, he is now 26, a miracle. A skateboard injury ended with Staph infection in his leg that threatened his life and the loss of his leg, we saved both but it was two weeks in an infectious disease ward, and many weeks after of prescription anti-bionics and three times a day clean up and bandage changes.
Knocked unconscious for 11 days when he was ran off the road and fell off his fixe Tall bike and hit his head on the curb. And, yes, he was wearing a helmet. His mother and I didn’t find out about it for months after. Typical of all of his injuries since he has been on his own.
Injured hip that still gives him trouble along with his back.
Numerous body and facial scars from scraps with the tarmac. He does gravity competitions on long boards and bikes. Neither have brakes, and the hills are steep and twisty with steep sides. One of the competitions is held at the Maryhill Loops where I do hill climbs in high octane cars, I go up, he comes down. He is much braver then I.
Another tall bike incident put a steel pin in his wrist, he has limited use of his right hand now.
Did I mention burns and serious knife cuts, he is a chef, so he has had job related injuries.
There probably have been more injuries, I just haven’t heard about them, yet.
“Maybe I shouldn’t; it’s the bad times that make us who we are.” Stick with that, Jack.
My boy pushed the envelope since very early on. He was very careful and deliberate about his activities, so I let him proceed with some common sense input from me. Still, when you push the envelope in risky endeavors… shit happens.
” One of the competitions is held at the Maryhill Loops where I do hill climbs in high octane cars, I go up, he comes down. He is much braver then I.”
Something really cool about that.
All you can do is teach them right from wrong and to accept responsibilities then you let ’em go…….
Mine is now 34 and gave me a wonderful Grand Daughter almost exactly one year ago .
You’re doing fine jack he knows you love him and will always be there for him this gives him the confidence to do foolish jumps and so on….
Just wait ’till you buy him his first Motocycle , I was proud/scared .
-Nate
Welcome to my world. Learn to live with a constant knot of fear in your gut and an overwhelming pride in your chest. Love him. Stand behind him. Pick up the pieces as best you can. Above all, give thanks to God for him. . .and count yourself blessed to be his parent.
In 1960, a poorly-chosen slide during an impromptu game of kickball landed me waist-deep in a cesspool.
Results: scarlet fever, pneumonia, and a tendency to sneer at the Reaper, who has since had two more good shots at me, both of which failed miserably.
How indeed. I swore I would never let my boys do the dangerous things I did when I was their age. I sure as heck did not make it to 21 without some serious frame damage. And yet…. 2 weekends ago I’m following my 9 year old on the motocross track that I was carried off of more times than I care to remember three decades ago. He enters an off camber turn way too fast, front wheel fully locked up, and hits a tree square on while I watch, completely helpless. His left shoulder is already purple by the time I get to him and help him up.
He did it again a few laps later.
I’m either the best dad in the world, or the worst.
Either way, he will have a lot of memories. I think you’re doing just fine. Boys will be boys, even in their forties 😉
It comes with Y chromosomes. Moshe had a rapid admission card to the nearest hospital by the time he was three. We called him Danger Boy. His son was in the ER at nine months, having swallowed a glass bead he found. Boys will indeed be boys.
Also, we teach our kids to deal with risk by putting them in controlled risk situations. If we didn’t, they’d never learn to ride a bike.
Jack, we both know the most interesting people invariably are the he ones with scars, emotional and/or physical, because they have been shaped by their experiences and have stories to tell. I’m not suggesting John will have emotional scars. Just saying, don’t worry. My impression is you’re doing better than most, and John will grow up to be a fine man.
The moment of release from the seat is glorious, just don’t try to do a 360 after getting airborne. That was the 2nd compound wrist fracture on the elementary school playground.
Builds character walking up to teachers with your hand hanging off your arm. 20+ years later it hurts, everyday.