So what did you do last night? I’ll tell you what I did: I sat up and wrote eight thousand words that I owed to various people by this morning. Also, I listened to Black Messiah eleven times in a row. Just coming to the end of track 9 right now, as a matter of fact. I was initially reluctant to believe the hype, but even though D’Angelo’s lyrics rival those in Kid A for incomprehensible down-in-the-mix mumbling and I’m pretty sure the man owes Prince some major percentage of whatever money he makes off the thing… f**k it, this is a brilliant record, and if you listen to this sort of thing, listen to this thing.
Today is also the birthday of the inimitable Vodka McBigbra, who will be turning, um, 29 today. Every once in a while, someone asks me, “What happened to her, anyway? Is she dead?” Of course not! While it’s true that I killed her frenemy Drama McHourglass off with a tragic and rare blood disease, V. McB is very much alive and is now reportedly in a great relationship with a wonderful man who never, ever, ever screams at her for an entire week because she accidentally let the door on his Porsche 993 open all the way to the stop. (Doing that can lead to a very annoying and expensive repair.)
I’m always amazed at the wonderful relationships that women find after I give them the ol’ Nino Brown. Here are some highlights from the relevant correspondence:
- “I have come to prefer ‘genuine’ to ‘charming.'”
- “I’m a traumatizer of baby puppies and my new boyfriend wants to move in with me.”
- On Twitter: “Still with (dude she kicked out for me then let come crawling back) after all these wonderful years!”
- “I want to get married and it might as well be him.”
- “Please do not attempt to contact me. I am trying to repair my marriage.”
- “(Name of 58-year-old dude who greases his hair back and looks like a mentally ill version of an enraged, massively fat-faced Alec Baldwin) is so good in bed I can’t stand it! I think I’m in love!”
- “Jack, you have ruined my life. I don’t say that to be dramatic; you have actually shattered my life.”
Okay, maybe not all of those amount to two-thumbs-up about new boyfriends, but you get the idea. The first step that many women take towards a healthy relationship in their lives is to have an unhealthy one with me. As D’Angelo says…
well, I can’t actually understand anything he’s saying on this new record. How about something he said on the old one:
Is it just that you’re the finest little thing
That I ever saw, or is my imagination running too far
Or is it that my eyes are telling me something you could never see
Something like me being with you, or you being with me
I swear I’m coming back in a future life as a gay man.
There’s just got to be a better way than this.
Hah! I have a good buddy who seems to be a serial dater as well. We had a running joke, that he should start a service. Calling it “Gateway Guy”. With the slogan: “After I ‘meat’ you, you’ll meet ‘the one'”.
(Since girls too, after him, seemed to find “amazing” men.)
Damnit, Jack. I owe a few thousand words today and now I’m forced to procrastinate while I listen to D’…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZoxdPGu_4E&list=PL4LyJBWB_4o6VkpKgyD5UHNBBFGE5phfc
Full Black Messiah album on YT. Dude is whack. Sings any further behind the beat and he’ll be in yesterday.
Not my normal cup of tea when it comes to music but listened to the whole thing on YT this morning - good call and thanks for the recommendation.
As to women, I’m of a similar vein lately. I seem to ruin a few’s sensibilities so they go go find the right one. Or at least one they can control a bit more……
C’est la vie
+1 on Black Messiah. I’m absolutely convinced Prince was in the studio when “Charade” was recorded. No way he wasn’t the guy arranging that song.
So the A-pillar is so *strong* that it will crack if you open the door to the stop.
Last night we went and watched the fantastic fireworks in celebration of Australia Day. I fired up the charcoal and cooked a magnificent meat. I need to work on the cooking time between flips. It’s amazing what some balsamic vinegar and good ole Worcestershire does for marinating.
What does the teacher has to do with the rest of the article.
Charcoal at max burn (about 22 minutes from start-up); three minutes a side for the meat gently turning it over and never pushing down on it; then check with an instant-read thermometer for an internal temperature of 130 degrees; then remove from the charcoal and place the meat between two inverted plates and let rest for five minutes inside a non-functioning microwave oven.
This will make the best barbecue steak you’ve ever had.
Plus start with a nice cut of beef like a New York strip (AKA strip loin) or a boneless rib steak (if you can find it) or maybe a flank steak (also a rare cut).
And happy birthday Commonwealth brother!
Thanks Tomko. And Happy birthday for this, the land of awesome ©.
Yesterday was a relaxed day and I did the charcoal step properly. I still have to get/build one of these starter tins. The little white blocks to start it make the job easier (I used to employ a rag/serviette damped with old cooking oil). I am a bit impatient with the meat, so I flip it a lot :-/. The thermometer will have to wait until I leave my *holidays*.
I usually buy porterhouse. This time I got rump steak and it was very good. Will try the 3 minute flip and the resting next time.
One of those chimney-style starters using a white solid starting cube is the way to go.
Nothing really, it’s one of my favorite photos.
The teacher’s name is Sasha Grey. Google her, when you’re not at work.
It is probably not great that I knew who that was so immediately…
I Googled her. Thankfully, Wikipedia came to the rescue.
I mean….. You could probably find a way to meat her without exposing your son?
Also sounds like V McB is still into you
I love porn stars. They skip the middleman and we don’t have to imagine what they look like naked, don’t have to ask “I wonder if she would (insert act here) ?”
Never got into Sasha, but Monique Alexander is my current fave. Yikes that girl can work it!